The great de-thaw begins

Life is unthawing in New England as we speak. Today is going to be a high of 73 degrees. And is that not the most rewarding part of living in this crazy upper east part of America? These seasons, while infuriating, unpredictable, and confusing, are so damn rewarding.

Yesterday I believe the high was around 65 and let me tell you, I felt like a completely different person. Yes, I may have been moping around because I still haven't been able to get a car, but ohmygosh, walking outside with a light long sleeve shirt felt like heaven. My soul was drinking in the fresh air and sunshine. Everything felt like new, everything felt like it was going to be okay. Is there something about spring being sprung that makes me talk like a hippie dippie yoga instructor? MAYBE. But who cares?

Refresh. Renew. Reinvigorate. 

It's like all of our silly life's problems that get locked up in our stuffy houses in the winter time get to air out, and then don't seem like such a big deal anymore. I'd like to think it's harder to get sad, mad, or frustrated when you're sitting in your driveway like a confused lizard drinking in the warm sun.

Here are five simple, mundane things I did yesterday that felt AMAZING because of the warm breeze that accompanied them:

1. Drove home with the windows of my car down.
2. Sat in the warm driveway and soaked up the sun.
3. Stood outside with my adorable beagle, Sherman, when I let him out to pee.
4. Opened up BOTH windows in my room.
5. DIDN'T WEAR A JACKET AFTER 1PM. 

Warm weather is a game changer, y'all. And today is gonna be a high of 73, so what are you gonna do with that? 

That time I cried in a Bank of America

This is a story called "That Time I Cried In a Bank of America; Or, How to Not Handle Disappointment Maturely".

Life is short, so it's important to laugh at yourself right?

Even if that means laughing at yourself less than a day after the incident happens. It keeps you fresh. It keeps you light. It keeps you from replaying the incident in your head over and over again, hating yourself for making a scene in front of strangers who probably tweeted about it minutes later.

Yesterday, I was a jolly little bitch because I thought, so arrogantly, that I was going to be getting that gorgeous little black car today. Everything was working out. I had the down payment, they were gonna put all four new tires on the car, I was gonna pick it up TODAY. I just had to get financing through my trusty bank, Bank of America.

L brought me to Bank of America (and they all literally know us by name, that's how often we are there) and we worked with this nice lady on setting up a loan application for me. She asked me the standard questions: Do you work? Yes, of course I work! My job is taking over my life! How much do you make yearly? ...less than what I told her, of course. Do you have the VIN number of the car? No, because that would mean I'm a responsible and prepared adult, so of course I don't have it.

She hit send, and we waited for a phone call. And waited. And waited.

RING RING.

YES! My loan has been approved. Let me connect with a loan officer to get the ball rolling on this thangggg. Hello sir. Yes. Yes. Mhm. Okay... yes, they sell only used cars. It's a private dealer? What does that mean? So... ok. I understand. So you don't finance loans for private dealers? Okay.... okay.... ok.....

HANG UP.

I hung up on a perfectly nice Bank of America loan officer, who could not finance my loan for this particular car because it is being sold through a private dealer who only sell used cars. And Bank of America can only finance cars being sold through a select list of dealers whom they approve. Bullshit.

Now this is where you have to pay close attention if you want to know how to not handle crushing disappointment at a Bank of America.

Hang up on your loan officer. Let your eyes slowly well up with tears. Don't make eye contact with anyone. When the Bank of America employee helping you with your loan offers advice, grab your purse, say you just want to leave, and get up without thanking her for her help. Storm out of Bank of America, past plenty of staring strangers, as you cover your mouth with your hand, tears fall from your eyes, and you struggle to suppress those ugly little hiccups that come when you're holding in a sob. Sit on the curb in the parking lot outside your boyfriends car sobbing. When he comes out of the bank, after apologizing on your behalf, let him yell at you in the car for being a HUMAN BEING and feeling extremely disappointing.

Then the next day, write a blog post about it.

Now here's what you can actually learn from this post (and what I have learned and am accepting today):
Don't put all your eggs in one car dealership basket.
Do your research before you get your hopes sky high.
Don't let anyone yell at you for expressing strong emotions when you feel them.
I am woman, hear me roar, I am getting this car, and no one is going to stop me.

Weekend wraparound

I was doing so well blogging every weekday that I'm actually pissed I missed my usual Friday Five post, and was also too busy this weekend to do a Saturday Six, or even a Sunday Seven...

But, here's what I was up to this weekend!

FRIDAY, CAR SHOPPING. 

My boyfriend took me to this cool dealership where there are a bunch of pre-owned cars on a big lot and all of them are unlocked! So instead of a sketchy dealer trying to sell you a car, you can walk around, go inside cars, and pick out which one you want. All the cars have numbers on the windshield and they give you a spreadsheet so you can see their mileage and how much they cost. After a brief search, I found my baby...

Isn't she beautiful???

She's a 2013 Honda Civic LX with about 28,000 miles on her. I wanted to take her home right away but I need to get approved through Bank of America for a bigger loan (merp) and they need to detail her and clean her up and put four new tires on her for me. I don't know when I decided that this is a girl car, I might change my mind once I ride her around for a little while. But I pick her up on Tuesday and then I can decide her official gender and most importantly, what to name her. 

This is a very big deal for me, because while I've only had my license for about two years now (I know, it's pathetic) I have never had a car just be mine. My first car was a hand-me-down from my mom, the second was a hand-me-down from my little brother. This car is ALL MINE. I can't wait to take her through the drive through, vacuum her, get some car spray and little car wipeys for her... taking care of a car means so much more when it actually has your name on it, ya know?

SATURDAY WAS FOR DANCING. 

Saturday I had a dance rehearsal in Rhode Island for a project that I'm working on with two of my previous dance professors called "Little Bed, Big Dreams". We performed the piece (I don't want to say dance because it had a lot of dialogue in it, so it was kind of like a play) back in October, so I was worried we weren't going to remember anything! But muscle memory is an amazing thing. We actually remember almost all of it!

Funny story about my Saturday rehearsal:
Because I thought I was going to get my car on Friday, I had no car to drive to Rhode Island. L has pretty bad anxiety about me driving, and there was no way my old 1998 Honda was going to make it there and back, so he kind of coerced my mom to go with me in her car. LOL. So it was a mother-daughter Rhode Island road trip, even though she kind of complained the whole way. Well, not the whole way. She took a walk around the campus and read magazines in the car during my rehearsal. And she's a bit of a passenger seat driver, but talking with her did help the time to go by much quicker. Thanks mom!

When we got home, my mom made the most delicious lemon and rosemary chicken, brown rice with quinoa, and roasted green beans with parmesan and breadcrumbs.

I was actually so proud of her for making a healthy and balanced dinner since hers are usually LOADED with carbs and absent of vegetables. And the chicken was AMAZE. I think she just grilled it with olive oil, lemon juice, and rosemary, but I'll ask another time.

Lucas and I were so tired after our long Saturdays (he had class and I had this whole Rhode Island thing) that we just snuggled in bed and passed out super early on Saturday night. We were invited to a party but since we're both 85 years old, we fell asleep while texting our friends that were there. lolz.

SUNDAY = MOVIE DAY. 

Sunday was a hard core movie day with a random trip to Sephora thrown in. We watched a free On Demand movie called Charlie Bartlett in my living room in the morning. It was a cute, high school-esque movie that reminded me a little bit of Juno or Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist. A quirky yet absurdly rich high school boy wants everyone to like him so he starts his own psychiatry practice in the boys bathroom. I actually liked it, despite it being a little bit cheesy. It made me feel young again hah!

Then we stopped at Sephora because I DESPERATELY needed new face moisturizer. And let me tell you something:

NEVER LOSE A SEPHORA GIFT CARD.

Those things are priceless. They are gold. They are invaluable.

Because even with the original receipt, they have to email it to their corporate offices and won't get back to me until 1-2 weeks. WEEKS. And I needed face lotion in that exact moment, can't wait any longer, sorry! So I ended up spending fifty-two of my own, hard earned dollars. I did, however, have a 10% off coupon emailed to me (VIB perks, mwahahah), which goes a longggg way at Sephoar! So I ended up with the Clinique Moisture Surge or something or other, and this super spring mint green Formula X polish, basically for free! Will get back to this blog on reviews on these things...

Then we went to the movie theatre, which I actually had TWO free passes for hanging around since last Christmas! We saw London Has Fallen, which L picked out. I was a littleeeee skeptical because he loves war, action, and horror movies (which I HATE) but it was actually very exciting, kept me engaged the whole time, didn't have TOO much gore or gun violence (...well ok, it had a ton). But it reminded me of the Taken series, which I do like a lot, because it's all about the President being hunted and held captive, and his private agent of the Secret Service, being a total bamf and going to save him.

It was actually a really good date movie, because it was very suspenseful so we snuggled and held hands the wholeeee time. Cute af.

Quick confession though: 
I ate almost an entire bag of popcorn and felt like SHIT afterwards.

After the movie we headed home and went to sleep soon afterwards. This weekend literally went by so quick, it's like I blinked and it was Monday again. And I have another jam packed week ahead of me, so I hope I'm mentally prepared. Next weekend L and I are taking a little trip to Newport because I have another rehearsal on Sunday morning, so we're staying overnight on Saturday. I still have to book the hotel but I'm definitely pumped for that!

What was the best part of your weekend?

What was the worst thing you ate this weekend?

How did you treat yourself this weekend (because it's so important to do this!)?

Spotlight: A favorite beauty guru

I am obsessedddddddd with Youtube. It used to be much worse. I used to have like 120 subscriptions and I'd have to watch ALL of their videos. I keep it to a minimal now. But whenever I want to escape for a little bit, or feel like I'm chatting about makeup with one of my own lady friends, I watch one of my favorite beauty gurus. And RachhLoves is definitely one of them.

She is such a sweet, positive force in the world of the internet. I love her constant hot pink lipstick, her Pinterest hack videos, her editing, and how she always features a huge selection of drugstore products. She's also FUNNY, doesn't take herself too seriously, and seems like someone I'd want to be friends with. Watching her videos brightens up my day. Check her out! 

What I don't feel like writing about today

I don't feel like writing today, but I have to write anyways because it's a weekday and I have a blog post writing schedule to follow, after all. I can't just throw all of my plans to the wind because I'm not feelin' it for one day (or two or three or four).

I don't feel like writing about how excited I am to get a car because the more it gets pushed back, the less I feel like I'm going to be able to secure this one beautiful little car that I really want and I don't feel like writing about how disappointed I am that my boyfriend keeps telling me he's going to bring me but then he doesn't.

I don't feel like writing about my boyfriend and our perfect relationship because it isn't. It isn't perfect. It's not even close. We love each other and we don't even really understand why because we seem so incompatible sometimes.

I don't feel like writing about my health and fitness plans because my main goal for March was to walk 10,000 steps every day and I've already fucked that up because I didn't work out or go for a walk yesterday. Barely hit 8,000. I haven't eaten a single item of processed sugar though, so at least I have one thing to be proud of myself about.

I don't feel like writing about my travel plans because I don't have any. That's a side effect of purging your bank account and almost all of your savings in order to buy a car, which, OH WAIT, I don't have one yet.

I don't feel like writing about my friends because their lives all seem so much lighter and happier than mine. They're unburdened. They're living their lives however they want to, without anyone telling them what to do.

I don't feel like writing about my future plans because I don't know what they are. I have plans but I'm not actively working towards them. I don't have time, or energy to give. All my energy is being directed in other places. All my time is taken up by other things.

Ugh. Bad day.