Sunday Coffee Date.

Good morning! 

It's a beautiful and chilly fall Sunday after yesterday's downpour. I seriously did not step foot out of my parents house yesterday. All of us were exhausted from staying up late on Friday night; me because I went to a Halloween party at my friend's house, and my parents because they were up until 3 in the morning watching the Red Sox game which went to 18 innings! 

So yesterday, we had the laziest of days. Watching lots of college football with my dad, catching my mom up on the The Voice, and having a movie night with both of my parents watching "The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown". So you think I act like a toddler when I'm home visiting my parents? You're not wrong!

This is Sunday coffee date: Confessions Edition. Because I just feel like being honest about where I'm at and getting some things off my chest. That life is fine, but it's also been really challenging lately. And here are some reasons why:

I haven't been working out as often as I should. I'm always really hard on myself about keeping a workout schedule, and starting my new job tutoring last week had my whole schedule messed up. Now I know that I'm tutoring Tuesdays and Thursdays, so I need to commit myself to hit my fav workout classes Monday, Wednesday, & Saturday morning at the very least. I can immediately tell when my body is pissed at me for not moving it and getting those endorphins, so I am really feeling this lapse in working out in my physical and mental health!

My new job makes it essential for me to have a tidy email inbox. This is such a small thing, but my inbox is a disaster! I have so many emails from random companies that I need to unsubscribe from. It makes me feel so disorganized when I have an email from one of my new supervisors and I need to scroll endlessly through emails that I've never opened and never will open. I have 5,000 that I need to delete and I know other people are much worse, but boy do I need to dedicate some time to this!

Feelings of self-worth are low at the moment. I know this has a lot to do with my seasonal affective disorder. But lately I have been telling myself some very negative thoughts about how nobody will ever love me, and I need to cut that shit out! I always read self-help type pish posh about how you should never say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to a friend. This is IMPORTANT to remember when I get in a negative thought spiral.

Procrastination is a symptom of anxiety. I have been procrastinating emailing my professors and asking them for recommendation letters because I am soooooo anxious about everything that has to do with grad school in general. Again, running through the list of self-doubt in my mind: Is this finally the right program?? Will I regret applying again?? What if I end up hating school counseling?? But one of my co-workers who just graduated with her degree in school counseling last year, put it into perspective for me. You just NEED TO DO IT! Get it over with. Bite the bullet. Once you have the degree, congrats, you have your Masters and you're 100% marketable then you are right now. That's what she said to me during happy hour as I chugged a spiked cider while sweating profusely as I thought about applying to grad school. But she's right, and time is running out, and I need to do it.

Happy Sunday, anyone reading this. I hope you're feeling refreshed, relaxed, and ready to take on the week!

September's Little Moments

I think that it's really easy to lose track of a month. It's really easy to feel like a month just flew by, not much happened, you worked and slept and ate, repeat. And that's why I think it's important to go back and remember the little moments, fun times with friends, and things that you may have forgotten about!

September felt like it flew by. But then again, when I was scrolling back through these photos, my adventures from September 1st feel like they were so long ago. How does this happen!?

Let's take a look...

On September 1st, my good friend Alicia and I decided to start our month off with a bang by conquering a 4,000 footer in New Hampshire! It was my first real, big girl hike in New Hampshire and I was pumped! Alicia is the pro-hiker of the two of us, and boy did that show on the way to this summit. I was huffing and puffing and struggling big time. But I made it to the top of Mt. Zealand, crossing parts of the Appalachian Trail, and I was very proud of myself!

I visited Castle Island in Boston, MA for the first time & took a tour of the fort! It was a gorgeous day in early September and I met my friend Mary-Cate and her family friends for a little get together at Castle Island in the shady, grassy picnic areas. Alicia came with me and we ended up taking a tour of the inside of the fort! It was cool to see the real cannons and views from the top of the walls of the fort, as well as to hear our knowledgeable guide giving us all of the Revolutionary War history!

I ended up going home to Connecticut two weekends this month! The first one was filled with events and fun activities. I went to the Hebron Fair with Courtney, Melissa, & Jared! It was so fun, especially since I wasn't able to make it to the Big E this year! I got my fried oreos/Reese's and we escaped from the hoards of teenagers into the beer garden! Teenagers are kind of scary these days, man. Maybe it's only when they move in packs. We forked up the ridiculous money for tickets on the rides and went on the Ferris wheel and this spinning ride that they have at the Big E too that I go on every year! 

That Sunday I had Adriana's 2nd birthday party and the dance studio cookout. The weather was kind of cold/cloudy but I still had fun seeing all of my hometown friends! We drank wine by the fire, talked all things astrology (well, I did...) and toasted vegan marshmallows! 

I went to Salem! The first time I went to Salem was super overwhelming because it was Halloween weekend. But it's spooky even in September! I got my friend a birthday gift from this amazing store called Hauswitch. The gift is a spell (literally a spell, crafted by a coven of witches in Salem!) to clear your home and re-energize it. I love that stuff! We walked around, going into bookstores and apothecaries galore. We stopped by the memorial for those hanged during the Salem Witch Trials and looked up some of the victim's stories. My school is going on a field trip there next month, so I'll be getting even more history on a tour when we go! 

I helped my friend, Alicia, celebrate her 26th birthday! She has had such a tough year - she recently decided to leave her husband and is in the process of getting a divorce. But man, she is one of the strongest ladies I know! She had a gift card to a fancy restaurant in the North End, so SHE took ME out for her birthday hahahah. I got probably the most delicious pesto tortellini I've ever had, and then I treated her to some gelato. The hazlenut flavor was to die for. 

My poor mama got a hip replacement! I went home to Connecticut to help take care of her during a Friday that my dad had to work right after her surgery. It was so nice to be able to come home, hang out with her, and help brighten her day. Especially since she had been soooo nervous about having this surgery. 

This was quite a busy weekend! On Friday night I went to Alaina's house with Shawn and Melissa for her birthday bonfire. Then on Saturday I went with Shawn and Melissa to Lyman Orchards to fully immerse ourselves in fall since this was on the first day of autumn! We got lost in a corn maze, drank cider in the fields, and gorged ourselves on apple crisp!

These crazy friends of mine then convinced me to go to Mohegan Sun to further celebrate Alaina's birthday! Shawn and I ran around town like chickens with our heads cut off trying to find appropriate going out clothes for me since I did NOT bring any! It was stressful but Mohegan was fun! I danced despite my feet literally bleeding in cheap heels and did not have a drop of alcohol because a) I'm poor and b) I was so hungover the previous weekend from going to my coworker's band's show that I was traumatized to drink again. YAY!

This last weekend of the month was another basic fall bitches dream. Alicia and I went to Brooksby Farm in Peabody to get out the city and into an apple orchard. We each picked a peck of apples, got apple cider donuts, apple cider, and different kinds of fudge! I tried some pumpkin fudge and it was actually delicious. 

Wow! When I look at my month like this, taking stock of everything that I actually got to do, it seems like it was quite a month, filled with food, family and friends. 

It's the little moments, man. 

Sunday Coffee Date.

Well I'm not drinking coffee right now but I did have hot chai tea earlier today and that was delicious. Honestly I've had a lovely little weekend and I just wanted to write about it! 

On Friday night I decided I needed to treat myself, so I took myself on an outing to TJMaxx. I didn't realize until recently how dangerous it is to have a TJMaxx only 5 minutes away from my apartment. I got sucked into the hair and skin care section, browsing all these brands that I normally can't afford! 

I ended up getting $60 worth of hair/skin care... whoops! I got a 24k gold face mask (ideal for selfie taking, which I did on Friday night), hyaluronic acid serum, a Boscia face gel/cream, a jade roller, and a Shea Moisture shampoo & deep treatment mask. Woo! So I had myself a mini spa night and was super chilled out. 

Saturday morning I woke up with a mission. I had been procrastinating cleaning out my bedroom closet for months and I decided today was the day! I went to a fun aerobics class at my gym in the morning, made myself some hearty oatmeal for breakfast when I got home, then showered & hit the ground running! 

The closet was way more of an undertaking than I could have ever imagined. I cleaned from 11am to 9pm... seriously. I did take a couple breaks (including a Starbucks break to get a PSL because hello, I clearly deserved it) but I was actually cleaning, organizing, folding, and sorting for the majority of those hours. It was exhausting but I'm SO HAPPY that it's over with and that I can actually walk into the walk-in closet now. I ended up with three bags to give to Goodwill, and have also been giving stuff away through the Buy Nothing Facebook group in my city. I also cleaned out the bathroom storage and it brings me such joy to open the cabinets to my skincare so organized and aesthetic. 

It's the little things. 

Today I met up with my friend Mary Cate and we walked around Castle Island in South Boston. Boy, was it cold! It truly felt like winter to me with the frigid gusts of ocean air... and it somehow put me into the Christmas spirit lol. I'm now craving putting up Christmas decor and watching The Grinch, but I will resist! 

I made some vegan pumpkin muffins (verdict - delicious!) while watching Hocus Pocus when I got home, and now I'm relaxing & watching Youtube videos. I am truly in denial that tomorrow is Monday. I could definitely use one more day. But we have a half day & staff potluck on Friday so I'm looking forward to that! 

All The December Things

Another month, GONE.

I did a pretty good job in November of living my mantras. I was spontaneous, I continued writing in this blog for numero uno (me, obviously, ahah), I did not contribute to Thanksgiving dinner but then again I was banned from the kitchen by crazy female relatives, I did start texting my long distance friends more, I didn't do Yoga but I downloaded some Yoga apps and meditated so... success! Onto the next month (and the last... wtf)

December is the last month I have to get it together for 2016. How am I supposed to fit all of this into 31 short days??!?! I feel like a mad woman. I've drafted several calendars for the month of December already, trying to figure out if I can see a light show, bake several dozen batches of cookies, finish Christmas shopping, and run a 5k... all in one day.

Help. Send help. 

The end of a year has never felt so frantic and short for me. Yes, I want to squeeze it ALL IN. Can I? I dunno. I have four weekends to try and do what feels like seven million different things.

So because this month is so wild and crazy I've literally settled on breaking it down into weeks 1 through 4. I wish this was a happy happy crunchy granola goals post like I've been doing, but we JUST DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT THIS MONTH. '

Week 1 (12/1-12/4)

• get my festive manicure on Friday afternoon 
• visit The Christmas House Friday night (a house that's been featured on Christmas Wars and shows like that) 
• decorate EVERYTHING
• finish buying Christmas presents (cuz it's pay day tomorrow, heyyy!) 
• go to my dance studio's holiday performance Saturday evening
• go to L's friends' Friendsgiving Saturday evening (if time permits)
• get a Christmas tree Sunday afternoon 
• work on grad school applications

Week 2 (12/5-12/11)

• use my free facial gift certificate before it expires on the 11th
• go to a festival of lights on Friday evening
• have a wine night with coworker friends on Friday evening (not sure if I can do both ^^, lolz)
• go to Santa Con in Boston on Saturday 
• have my friend give me a tour of her campus in Cambridge on Sunday
• work on grad school applications

Week 3 (12/12-12/18)

• bake Christmas cookies... at some point
• see the Cirque Du Soleil Holiday Show with my dance studio Saturday night
• go to NYC for a day trip and walk around in awe and wonder on Sunday
• work on grad school applications 

Week 4 (12/19-12/31)

• celebrate my birthday in true 24 year old fashion... with tequila shots and cheese quesadillas on Monday night into Tuesday
• get a massage on Tuesday, my actual day of birth
• wrap up the Christmas presents! 
• have a wonderful Christmas with my fam, then with L's fam in Massachusetts
• do SOMETHING AWESOME for NYE (I'm begging you, any ideas? I still don't know!) 
• APPLY TO GRAD SCHOOL. 

I apologize that this was likely the most hectic and stressful goals post you've ever read.
I'm laughing maniacly just looking at it :')

I feel frantic and like I need to pour some Bailey's into my coffee asap, so excuse me while I go try and make a thousand paper snowflakes while online shopping while listening to Yuletide carols while watching Elf while scheduling my facial.

xoxo

Glitter, stickers, sparkle, magic.

Oh, helloooooooo there and happy Monday! 

If you weren't in blogland last night and want to read about how I actualized a seven year dream of getting my nose pierced, go on and check it here.

This weekend wasn't super exciting, but it was pretty great. After my piercing experience on Friday night, L and I went to one of our fav spots, Tisane's, a super chill bar and restaurant that brings cozy and eccentric together perfectly. We each got a glass of sauvignon blanc, cheers-ed to me being a little bit spontaneous for once, and split an appetizer of BBQ chicken spring rolls. Yummm. We settled in Friday night to watch some TV, either a little bit of Harry Potter weekend(!!) or Vanderpump Rules since we legitimately cannot stop watching this stupid show. Send help.

Saturday afternoon was spent with my adorable mama, who strongly disapproves of the new hole in my face, so I hid it from her so she did not have to see the atrocity. We took our beagle doggy for a walk in the dog park since it was predicted to be "the last really nice day of 2016". Dramatic, but damn it was a beautiful day. Not a cloud in the sky, high of probably around 65. What November dreams are made of.

When we got home we started in on some CHRISTMAS CARDS!!! My mom's workplace has a goal of making 200 hand-made holiday cards for veterans this year. I have a ton of holiday stickers and about 700 rolls of washi tape, so I volunteered all my supplies and my time and I banged out some TRULY beautiful cards if I do say so myself. I think this one is my favorite.

I cannot handle the cuteness! This of course inspired me to hand make cards for other people in my own life, so I made three and it was honestly the most relaxed and productive I've been for an extended period of time in a LONG TIME. So here's a pro-tip: if you are stressed out, craft!

That afternoon I met up with a long time friend, Courtney, to see Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them. We saw it in IMAX and it was... very loud. But I liked it! It was quite cool to be back in the magical world, even if it didn't feature any of my fav old characters. But it didn't completely wow me or suck me in. Maybe my expectations were slightly too high, but I did think that a lot of the creatures and some of the story line were a little far fetched, or that maybe too much plot was attempted to be fit into just the 2 hours and 15 minutes of the film. I'm not sure. Have you seen it? Let me know your thoughts!

On Sunday I worked with my little dancer cousin on her solo for this year and we finished it! Thank goodness too, because she's performing it on December 3rd at our studio's Christmas show and...  no one told me. I'm always so out of the loop! Jessie is a very determined and busy 13 year old girl, sometimes I don't know how she manages it all.. band, soccer, field hockey, competitive dance, all plus school, friends, and homework?! Kids, man, how do you bottle that energy.

I hope your weekend was fantastic, relaxing, inspiring, creative, and rejuvenating! 

I should've gotten a small tattoo instead

I can't remember the last time I wrote a blog post NOT at work. Don't get it twisted, I am 100% not supposed to be using the work computers for my selfish blogging usage... butttttttttttt, I do! Can you really blame me? I'm alone at that front desk from 6am to 8:45am most days. I'd lose my damn mind if I wasn't blogging and reading Buzzfeed gift guides.

So let me set the scene since usually the scene is a freezing cold gym desk lit with harsh gym lighting with a thermos of yucky coffee (since my creamer is sugar-free, what was I thinking) at 6:15am.

It's 4pm on a Sunday and I'm snuggled on the couch and the NY Giants football game is on. And they're WINNING. I just blew out our Marshmallow Fireside BABW candle so it smells decadent and my new Himalayan salt lamp is *lit*, emitting all them positive ion vibes and cleansing the air and all the other crazy magical things Himalayan salt lamps are 'sposed to do. I have Pinterest open in the tab next door, my feet are up, my socks don't match, and L is napping as per usual.

It's cozy and nice, and I'm actually not going stir crazy and I think it's because I broke out the 'ol laptop and I'm clackity clacking away. I don't know why I never use my laptop, but it's infinitely more soothing to scroll through Pinterest on this big screen than on my tiny, bright phone.

On Friday night L needed to go to a piercing place to have his ears checked out. He used to have gauges back from when he was a lil bad ass rebel in his high school era, but he hasn't been wearing them super often, so they shrunk and are two different sizes. He's pretty upset about that. But while we were there, I was feeling EXTRA WILD & REBELLIOUS and decided, y'know what, I'm gonna do something I've been talking and thinking and debating about for seven years now. I'm not lying, I've been thinking about getting my nose pierced for seven years.

But I'm a little baby, who is afraid of needles and faints when she gets blood drawn. So I have never stepped foot in a piercing place, that is, until L had to go to one anyways, and there I was, standing at the counter, and asking the super nice, super pierced girl about septum piercings.

Yeah, I have also always wanted to get a cute little nose stud or a teeny tiny gold hoop but, my friends, I work at a gym that prohibits alllllllllllll facial piercings (yet doesn't mind employees with fully tattooed bodies, riddle me that), so I needed something I could hide, that would make me feel like a little bad ass and so, here we are. The piercing itself hurt absolutely NOT AT ALL - I was truly so shocked at how little it hurt. Right now, it is healing up flipped inside my nose, just a tiny bit tender and sore if my nose grazes anything. But, I love it. I know plenty of people will hate it, butttt I don't care.

This isn't me, but it pretty much looks like this. 

My mom said the absolute funniest thing when I showed her (p.s. she hates it).

She goes: "I wish you got a small tattoo instead!" 

I just think that's the silliest thing, because I'm the most indecisive person and, HELLOOOO, a tattoo would be on me for my whole entire life! If I don't like this piercing, I can just shove it in my nose, or take it out eventually. And no scar will ever show. Hm. C'mon mother. 

I think this piercing is cool, a little bit unexpected of me, and honestly enhances my face. Here's a great article I found about this piercing in particular: I wore a fake septum piercing for a week and it was f*cking empowering. 

That is all, for now. I have plenty more to write about my weekend, but that's going up tomorrow morning! 

my butterfly garden experience!

I have quite a lot of bucket list ideas that I want to accomplish in my life, many of which require years of planning and money saving. I've been chipping away at the smaller ones, the ones that can be accomplished in a day trip or a weekend. These are so much easier to experience, but ultimately no less satisfying than a European road trip or a Mediterranean cruise (at least in my opinion!)

Last weekend I brought Lucas, my mom, and one of my best friends Shawn to a butterfly sanctuary in South Deerfield, MA called Magic Wings! 

This was an awesome experience. Tickets were only $14 and I got a $4 discount with my student ID. The ride there was only about an hour and we blasted Beyonce the entire way, so the ride went by really quickly! (I discovered that my favorite songs off of Lemonade are Hold Up, Sorry, 6 Inch, and Freedom. Ugh, so good!) 

Once we entered, there was one room that was devoted to different insects, snakes and frogs. Basically everything tropical except the butterflies. My main focus was the butterflies but this section was still neat to observe. 

I was captivated by all the cocoons and even got to see a butterfly hatch right before my eyes! The gift shop had little clear cups with caterpillars in them that you could take home! I thought that this was fascinating for some reason. Even though I remember having a caterpillar garden as a kid... I find it so strange to raise caterpillars and then set the butterfly free once it hatches! 

Once we entered the main butterfly area, it was freaking breathtaking. I believe that the sanctuary itself is 8,000 square feet and there are over 4,000 butterflies in it. I was actually a little bit scared at first! It's startling because the air is dense with so many butterflies, and you think that they're definitely bound to land all over you. The sad truth is, not single butterfly landed on any of us. 

We did get to pet this awesome lizard as it took a bath though! My friend Shawn is hilarious about reptiles. He loves them as much as regular people love cats and dogs. 

We wound our way through the twisty trails of tropical wild life and flowers and plants. Butterflies landed on these little sugar feeders, which we found out afterwards that we could have purchased ourselves in the gift shop. 

Not only were there a ton of butterflies, tropical flowers, and water fountains, there were a ton of reptiles, fat birds running all over the ground, a parrot, finches, and HUMMINGBIRDS! The hummingbirds were so fast, but we did manage to sneak a peak before they zoomed off across the sanctuary. 

The gazebo areas were strung with these adorable Christmas lights, which added to the magical feeling! 

There were butterfly statues and hanging sculptures all around the sanctuary too. After walking around the paths of the garden several times, delighted every time we saw a bright Monarch or one of the bigger electric blue butterflies (which I appropriately nicknamed Mr. Blue), we walked through the exit and straight to a little stand claiming they had 50+ flavors of soft serve.

Coconut + German chocolate, blackberry + cheesecake, + pistachio, and peach were our flavors of choice. We nommed on these while walking around some outdoor gardens (if I didn't mention before, the main area of butterflies was all indoors, so it's rain or shine!)

We left shortly after, and a lot of us slept on the way home. It was such a magical experience! I highly recommend a butterfly garden to add to your bucket list if you've never been before. Even if you're afraid of butterflies, because I thought I was (and so did Lucas!) but we ended up having an amazing time.

Have you ever been to a butterfly garden?
What's a day trip idea off your own bucket list? 

Leave a comment, it means so much for me to actively engage with anyone awesome enough to start a conversation on this blog!

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I guess I suck at blogging!

Quick update for anyone curious around these parts...

I fell of the blogging wagon & I fell off HARD.

Last week was my first week of summer class - I'm taking Anatomy & Physiology 2.

It appears as though I've forgotten how to school.

I had a mini panic attack almost every day last week wondering how I'm going to pass this class, since it's an accelerated course & we cover 14 weeks worth of material in 8 weeks.

So I might be a lil quiet around here for the next 7 weeks.

But I will still damn well try!

xoxo
Danielle

FF - Summatime Fine

New England weather literally catapulted itself from winter, to spring, to SUMMER (in all its' glory) in just three weeks. I feel like I have whiplash.

This week I was slacking on working out just because the weather was so wonderfully oppressive & I wanted to enjoy it all outside.

But 90 degrees ain't too cool to run in, ya know? 

Above photo is from last summer but it sets the right tone. 

Wednesday was my favorite day, with some time spent at a lake with my lovah followed by a cookout with my family on our brand spankin' new patio and patio furniture. We are living large. 

Now, without further ado, here are some of my favorite tidbits from this past week...

5 No-Brainer Ways To Have a Prettier & Happier Week

Another Monday, another fresh start.

Last week was pretty weird. If you read my Friday Favorites, you definitely know I was feeling a little bit off.

It's fine to have an off day (or week). It's all about how you recover from it.

This past weekend, Lucas and I went to New York City, baby!

Stay tuned for some better pictures from his fancy pants camera and a recap of our mini trip. For now, here is a basic iPhone photo of my attempt at modeling on our bougie chaise lounge overlooking some NY buildings.

Now, onto our regularly scheduled programming.

Here are 7 absolutely no-brainer ways to make this week prettier and happier. 

Two things we could all use more of, am I right? & I'm even going to schedule it for you. Or more like myself. These are my personal plans, but feel free to follow my lead ;)

FF - Are the planets still in retrograde?

Good morning and HAPPY FRIDAY.

The beginning of this week felt totally normal you guys. The end of this week, starting with Wednesday, felt... off.

For starters, everyone I know has been extremely irritable this week, myself included. I'm getting in wild arguments with people and there's just been a general feeling of unrest.... not cool.

Also, everyone I've talked to agrees that Wednesday felt like a Monday and yesterday felt like a Friday. Which was obviously upsetting.

So yeah.

I don't know what's going on with the planets, but homegirl would appreciate if they'd calm down up there!

Here's what I've been loving on this week, despite the cosmic mess.

THIS BEAUTY THING: 

Bareminerals Lipgloss in Trailblazer

I got this as a Sephora points perk after finally parting with some of my 1,000+ points.

It is FABULOUS.

Never tried any Bareminerals lip glosses before this, and I don't even really like lip products...

But it's not to sticky, the perfect minty tingling sensation, and makes your lips look bronze-y and goddess-y and ALIVE. 

THIS TV SHOW: 

The Family on ABC. 

Y'ALL. 

This TV show aired it's first season finale last Sunday but I finally got around to watching it on Wednesday and yo.

It's wild. It's unpredictable. It's addicting.

Have you seen it? 

I can't believe.... well, I don't want to spoil anything for you.

But this isn't like any crime/kidnapping/investigative plot line I've ever seen or heard before. 

& I used to be obsessed with Criminal Minds and murder mystery shows, so I've seen my fair share. 

Find it somewhere, watch it, report back so we can develop some crazy theories together.

THIS SONG:

Too Good by Drake ft. Rihanna 

Another solid jam.

I kinda think this will be a "Song of The Summer".

It reminds me of all those other songs, like Work by Rihanna, One Dance by Drake, & In Common by Alicia Keys. Like they're all chill af, but still somehow jams.

I'm into it.


THIS PLACE: 

Elizabeth Park in Hartford, CT

Winding paths, garden, terraces, and green things galore.

It was really nice out on Wednesday afternoon, so Lucas and I visited this park (one of the first places we ever hung out/went on a date) & wandered around enjoying the beautiful day.

& that's all folks! 

We actually have a busy weekend planned out. 

There's a graduation dinner in NYC tomorrow, followed by dranks dranks dranks. 

And if this week was as long for you as for me, well, you deserve a drank too. 

Then on Sunday we're roaming around the city, maybe visiting the Museum of Sex, seeing a show, going to lunch, or going on some boat tour of Manhattan. I've seen some cray cray Groupon deals. 

Peace out cub scouts, and TGIF. 

Everyone's Graduating & I Feel Old

So I shouldn't feel old because I'm only 23 years old.

And being a December babe, I'm very young for my graduating classes.

I didn't turn 21 until after winter break of my senior year of college. It was a huge pain in the ass.

But scrolling though Instagram (which... does anyone at all enjoy the new icon? *cricket sounds) or perusing my Snapchat stories is just completely inundating me with images of young & naive lil seniors with DIY caps & lil smiles on their faces that say "I'm acting happy but really I'm like WTF do I do now???"

I'm sure some of them aren't like this and have jobs post-college lined up.

But the vast majority, I'm also sure, don't.

I feel old. And it's very upsetting.

Because I'm watching a group of people graduate who were sophomores when I was a senior. The little kiddos who were freshmen when I was a senior are now seniors.

An entire generation of college students is almost complete !!!???

The group of Dance majors that I spent hours in sweaty rehearsals, rolling on the floor, and rubbing my body against for several years was very close. We all know each other very well.

Once the senior class of next year graduates in Spring 2017, there will be no one left there who knows my name.

WHAT. HOW.

Will I be remembered, for the impact I left on the Dance program?

Will the professors ever talk about me, fondly recalling a particular piece of choreography that I created in my time in the program, as eager freshmen jot down notes and inspiration?

It's a terrifying thing, to be phased out and forgotten.

We all strive to leave our mark.

Because if no one remembers us, then what was the point of being there???

To to make our own memories, and to grow as our own person. 

To build relationships that you can fall back on in shitty times.

To connect with professors and professionals who you can email four years down the road for a reference and ask how their kids are doing.

I'm sorry, I'm feeling scattered and nostalgic from all these graduation images and also because I woke up at 4 in the morning and went to sleep at 11:30 because GAME NIGHT GOT INTENSE.

I guess the point of this is, that yes, we will all be forgotten in places where we were incredibly important.

And we HAVE to accept that. The things which once defined us, will no longer define us.

It's up to you how you are defined.

I was once a broke college student with a full heart, majoring in Dance and Psychology, extremely naive, and drunk 2-3 days a week.

I am now a member services rep at a gym, a dance teacher, a Spin instructor, a little more jaded, still pretty terrible with money, and someone who recently discovered that tequila is the only alcohol that won't make me puke.

I will one day be a successful occupational therapist/Spinning instructor/fitness coach living in a beautiful but humble home with an immaculately stocked fridge, a perfect dog, a calendar full of social events, and a consistent habit of drinking mimosas for Sunday brunch.

It's all about perspective.

Because two years ago, the first option was all I cared about. Best option hands down.

Now, I'm dragging myself inch by inch to the third choice.

So yes, maybe I am old. College grads, beware.

Time flies, and this feeling is comin' for ya.

HAPPY MONDAY.

FF - I'm Back Bitches

This week FLEW by.

And I'm a-okay with that.

Time is slipping through our fingers and going by faster than ever for me these days, but the weekends are those rare occasions where I feel like I can take a deep breath and let it allll sink in.

So I'm ecstatic to say HAPPY FREAKIN' FRIDAY.

This week was great for me, I hope you too! The sun was out, and I felt sunshine on my skin for the first time in 2 WEEKS, GUYS. TWO WEEKS.

To say I was lacking in the D (vitamin D that is, hehe) is a huge understatement.

I dragged myself out of a major funk this week & I'm super proud of myself.

That's why I feel like it's 100% appropriate for me to say I'm back bitches. 

I was not myself the past two weeks. Between being sick 2 weeks ago and recovering last week, I was feeling lazy, unmotivated, lethargic, even depressed.

But something snapped back "on" inside me this week and it's been full steam ahead every day. Hell yah!

Here's what I've been loving on this week.

THIS SNACK: 

My boyfriend's mom hoards up on this yogurt and he steals it for me. Mwahaha.

This is skyr, which is ACTUALLY an Icelandic cheese made from skim milk. 

Weird, I know. But it actually has the same properties as Greek yogurt, with plenty of protein & calcium. 

The great thing about skyr though is that it's even THICKER than Greek yogurt, and sweeter (with less grams of sugar than most brands of Greek yogurt... how is this possible?? Witchcraft). Which I love and appreciate, thanks Siggi's. You're a real pal. 

THIS WORKOUT PLAN: 

(source)

I have started training for a 10K. 

This is a huge deal for me. I literally never passed the mile run during fitness testing all through elementary, middle, high school. NEVER. 

I had asthma and was a chubby, unathletic little kid. 

I honestly can't tell you the first time I successfully ran a mile without stopping. But it was... recent. 

I've been using the Nike+ Running App, which one of my friends recommended me. & I have it set so that I get "coaching" every minute of my run. Literally.

I find that sooo helpful. Because I'm needy & need to know how far I've gone/how much longer I have to go as often as possible. 

I've been using this training schedule because it's cute & not overwhelming. & I ran (consistently!!!) the longest I've ever gone yesterday at 3.56 miles. 

HOLLA ATCHA GIRL. 

Again, this is a big deal for lil 'ol me. Remember - asthma all throughout public schooling. It used to take me 20 minutes to complete a damn mile. 

One thing to add - I cannot run on a treadmill. It's abysmal. It's boring. It hurts my shins. It's the road or nothin' baby. 

THESE SONGS: 

In Common by Alicia Keys. 

Guys, this is a jam.

It's kinda got that feel of Work by Rihanna and One Dance by Drake. I don't know why but they all sound somewhat similar to me. 

Love the line, "If you can love somebody like me, you must be messed up too."

UGH, YES GIRL. 

CAN'T STOP THE FEELING by Justin Timberlake. 

JT is back with another jam. 

If this isn't the happiest damn song to blast on a sunny day, well I just don't know what is. 

Summer music is the best, now excuse me while I snap my fingers while doing a two-step away from the haters. 

THIS HABIT: 

May we all one day be as majestic as this woman drinking bottled water. 

When I was sick, I really let myself go.

Downnnnnnnnnnnn the tubes. 

I was 7,000% dehydrated at all times. 

I didn't have the energy to lift my head, much less sip and drink water. 

It was literally pathetic. 

Now that I'm better, I'm trying to make it a solid point to put the RIGHT things in my body.

The other day I got this adorable polka dot cup with a straw from Target in the dollar spot, aka the most dangerous place for wallets of twenty-something females on Earth. 

Like, OMG everything is a dollar! It's magical! It's wonderful! But suddenly you have 50 things in your hands and with tax, you can say adios to a day's worth of pay. 

Beware the dollar spot.

But anyways, this cup is so cute, that it's motivated me to drink water ALL THROUGHOUT THE DAY. 

Usually I'm good about drinking water while I'm at work. It helps me pass the time. But now it's like I need to have this cup with me at all times. Phone, wallet, dollar spot cup. Check, check, check. Ready to go. 

That's all for this Friday. 

Tomorrow is my longest run of the week for my 10K training (& also my longest run EVER IN MY LIFE) so wish me luck! 

Other than that, I might go out for some dranks + dancing tomorrow night, I'm going to try and post some clothing items to Poshmark since I haven't begun working on that goal yet, maybe go to to the movies or go out to brekky, & just relax and rejuvenate.

I actually have so many plans coming up for the weekends, so this one should be savored.

Hope you had a full & uplifting week and have a gorgeous weekend! :)

In Defense of Being Extremely Passive Aggressive

Like all people will say about their less desirable personality traits: I haven't always been this way.

I am a product of my environment. Shaped from the actions and reactions of others, the way I was raised, the kind of situations I was brought into by adults I loved and trusted.

Do you know any non-confrontational people who are also the most passive aggressive people you've ever met? That's me. Hi, nice to meet you, and if you forget to wash your dishes I prooobably won't make eye contact with you for several days.

What does it mean to be passive aggressive?

Urban dictionary (my favorite dictionary & the most accurate dictonary, imho) describes passive aggressiveness as:

"a defense mechanism that allows people who aren't comfortable being openly aggressive to get what they want under the guise of still wanting to please others. They want their way, but they also want everyone to still like them." 

AND 

"act of doing something specifically to piss someone off, but with the cover of 'I didn't realize it would bother you.'" 

(source)

BOTH ARE SO TRUE.

Yes, I hate confrontation more than anyone I know. I'm only comfortable yelling at my family and my boyfriend (*they see my true colors*). But yes, I will also say and do things to piss off people who have wronged me, in a way that is both subtle and extremely irritating.

For example, these are the favorite words of a passive aggressive person (spoken in a monotone while avoiding eye contact, or texted using lots of capital letters and periods):

"It's fine."

"I guess."

"Ok."

"I appreciate it."

"We can do whatever you want to do." 

"I don't care." 

Translations: 
"It's absolutely not fine and I'm really annoyed."
"I'm trying to get you to change your mind because I think that whatever you're saying is stupid."
"Not okay. But you don't realize it because you have the thickest skull recorded in human history."
"Whatever apology you're trying to give me is half-assed and unacceptable."
"The absolute last thing I want to do is whatever you want to do."
"I do care and you should know that, you dim witted slimeball."

This is the thing about passive aggressive people. We don't like to fight. We don't like to yell. We just want to be understood.

And we have really high expectations of people. 

You know how the worst feeling in the whole world as a kid when you snuck out of the house to go to the movies with your boyfriend, then got pulled out of the theater by your hair by your irate mother because HELLO, parents aren't stupid and they figure this sh*t out, wasn't the shrieking and uncontrolled anger of your mother, but the cold and crushing disappointment of your father?
(I love run-on sentences.)

No?

Just me?

Awkward.

Well, maybe feeling that disappointment from our parents teaches us that it isn't loud anger that makes people feel like sh*t for the things they've done wrong, but the silence. When someone wrongs me by taking my laundry out of the washer and leaving it to get moldy and musty in the basement, I don't want them to know why I hate them. I just want them to feel that fiery hate, and wonder what they did wrong. Until they realize it and feel really badly about it. LIGHTBULB MOMENT.

Does this make me sounds like a psychopath? Absolutely. But c'mon, we've all been there.

To be fair, I'm a generally laid back person. I don't get angry about stupid things. I really just have several basic needs: food, sleep, and respect. BAM, THAT'S IT.

When you mess with one of those things, it ain't gonna be pretty.

Because YES, I am passive aggressive and I'll sing it loud and proud. I want respect, but I'm too non-confrontational to demand it. I want change, but I'm too spiteful to ask for it.

I have high expectations of people and when I am disappointed in them, I want them to figure out why for themselves.

Are you passive aggressive or confrontational? Do you think I'm a sociopath based on this post? I promise I'm not. We can definitely be friends. As long as you wash your dirty dishes. Lolz. 

How To Get Out of a Major Funk

I am the Queen of Funks, I think.

That sounds so hip and jazzy, but no, I am not the Queen of FUNK (which would be fun and include a lot of shimmying and hip shakin' and saxophones). No, I am the Queen of Funks, plural.

I'm sure I'm not the only person that this happens to. Perhaps my coping and adjustment mechanisms have dwindled drastically since I graduated college. I used to be much more resilient! Deadlines didn't scare me, neither did social obligations, or downing five tequila shots before hitting the bar on a Thursday night!

But now it's so much harder for me to pull myself out of a funk.

Funks can be caused by a variety of things:

• crappy weather that is depressing and unmotivating
• getting sick or injured; your schedule gets all thrown off
• having your schedule change in any way
• getting into an argument with a loved one 
• making a mistake at your job
• returning from a vacation (you can read about my tips on how to survive returning from a vacation in this here blog post!)
  

Basically, it seems as though these things all have one common factor. They all involve having your schedule change, or having a mental/emotional monkey wrench thrown into your life. 

What can you do about it?

The reality of life is that you aren't always going to be able to control your circumstances. You can only react to the chaos. You can cry about not having enough money on your iTunes gift card to buy LEMONADE from the iTunes store. Or, you can transfer $17.99 from your savings account because you're living paycheck to paycheck and #priorities obviously include having Beyonce in your life. 

How to drag yourself out of a funk:

1. Organize your priorities. 

What are your top priorities? Saving money? Finding a new job? Just getting back into your regular work out routine? Figure out what your top 3 things are and get re-invigorated about them! These tasks shouldn't seem daunting, they should seem exciting and life-affirming. The time is going to pass anyways, so why don't you figure out exactly what you want. The first step is realizing what these things are. 

2. Set a random goal that is 100% attainable. 

It doesn't have to be a part of your grand plan, or any of your large and over-arching goals. But it has to be something you can definitely cross off your to-do list, and it will ideally give you a sense of pride. I've decided that I'm going sign up for and train for a 10K run! I've never even run in an organized 5K (although I am also doing one in June). But signing up for these babies holds you accountable. You have to pay to register after all! If I'm going to spend my hard earned pennies to run, I better train myself well enough so I'm not crawling on all fours through the finish line. 

3. Write everything down. 

Everything that I just told you? Your priorities, random goals, monthly bills, obligations, appointments, meet-ups, creative landmarks, etc etc.? Write it ALL down. I've been totally crazy with my planner situation. I bought a $75 Erin Condren planner, then stopped using it because YO, STICKERS ARE F*CKING EXPENSIVE, then bought a Moleskin and tried to bullet journal. I envy the neat freaks who live by the bullet journal, but that's honestly just too much work for me. So I'm actually going to good 'ol reliable Target TODAY to try and find a no nonsense monthly planner and some highlighters. That worked for me in college so I should've learned; if it ain't broke, don't fix it! 

4. Get yourself lookin' fine. 

I don't know about you, but pulling myself out of a funk is exponentially easier when I actually feel really good about myself. This starts from the inside out (see #9), but it doesn't hurt to aid this process from the outside in. Taking care of yourself externally can also trick you into caring about yourself internally, and if that is what it takes, then get yourself lookin' fine. Do a face mask. I know you have one that you haven't used in months! Do a hair mask. Literally just walk into your kitchen and slather coconut oil all over your hair. It makes a HUGE difference. Paint your nails. These things aren't hard, but damn, they can make a huge difference in my attitude and appreciation for myself. There's only one of you. Why would you not treat yourself with love and attention?! If you're as needy as I am, you should be doing this all the freakin' time. 

5. Talk to your friends about it. 

Your friends should be your therapists and your biggest fans. If you're in a funk, reach out to them, no matter how near or far they are. My two besties live in Boston and North Carolina and we have a group message that we are literally constantly chatting in. If I told them I was having an off day and needed some motivation/inspiration, I'd be showered with compliments involving a lot of phrases like "boss ass bitch", "slaying", and "you got dis!" I hope your friends are this awesome. 

6. Get vitamin d, SOMEHOW. 

This might be more of a personal thing, but if there are too many rainy days, I inevitably find myself in a funk. My therapist thinks I might get Seasonal Affective Disorder and be one of those people who just needs to live in a sunny environment. BRB, saving up to move to Florida right now! Sunlight and specifically vitamin D have been proven to have significant impacts on your mood and even brain functioning! If you're in a funk because of the weather, take it from me and try a daily vitamin D supplement or eat more foods that are rich in the D (tuna, salmon, cheese, and egg yolks to name a few. Dairy is also often fortified with the D). 

7. Clean your areas. 

Physical clutter = mental build ups. Those are definitely not conducive to getting yourself out of a funk. Just set some time aside to de-clutter, dust, and get rid of those random receipts, Sephora delivery boxes (oops), and dirty socks that missed the laundry basket that are just hanging around the corners of your areas. 

8. Fix your relationships. 

You can't move forward if something is holding you back. If an apology is due make it. Or if someone owes you one, ask for it. Clear the air because emotional clutter is just as harmful as physical clutter to your mental well-being. You might find that your time being stuck in a funk can decrease drastically if everything is going well in your interpersonal relationships. Spread kindness and forgiveness around like confetti y'all! 

9. Freakin' meditate. 

Feeling at peace starts from the inside out. Starting a meditation practice, even if it is only 1 minute, every other day, is better than nothing. Start small. Put your phone away, or set a timer on it for the length you'd like to be mentally ~ away ~. Listen to instrumental music, or the birds chirping outside, or nothing at all. Let your thoughts float by like clouds. Notice them, but let them pass. Getting out of a funk is about re-gaining your confidence, taking action, and feeling at peace with your path. Meditation is going to help that, in big and small ways! 

10. Get this t-shirt. 

If all else fails, get this shirt. If it doesn't motivate you when you rock it in your kitchen to blend up a green smoothie and drink that sh*t while job searching, meal prepping, and face masking, I don't know what will.

Good luck with getting out of your funk! Mine was caused by a week of sickness and then a week of terrible weather and I'll tell you right now, I'm going to be implementing all of these things this week!