Your Starter Kit to Radiant, Hydrated Skin

Do you know what's not cute?

Your skin visibly peeling off in large, flaky chunks, leaving angry, red dry spots behind.

This was my reality in middle school and high school. I was the driest bitch in class.

I think the cause of most of my skin problems (and girl, I HAD A LOT) was my diet and the fact that I was likely dehydrated for.... several years.

I was an ignorant little high schooler and water just wasn't important to me. NOW, it's like give me water or give me death. I am lost without a water bottle in every single space I occupy.

So that's the obvious NUMBER 1 tip here: If you aren't drinking water and eating a diet rich in healthy foods, green things, etc. then DUH - of course your skin sucks.

This is your STARTER KIT to radiant, hydrated skin, after the fact.

Being a dry bitch most of my life made me paranoid to find my skin in that state again.

So I will SLATHER my face with hydration, any season, any day.

Dead of winter, SLATHER IT ON.

Middle of summer in the scorching sun, SLATHER IT ON.

What am I slathering on do you ask? Well......

1. 

COCONUT OIL. 

I realize this is the most basic thing to say... ever.

Bitches and their coconut oil roll deep. This is not new news.

But if you aren't using coconut oil for literally everything at this point,

I just don't understand your life.

Hair falling out of my head? Coconut oil hair treatment!

Dry, cracked feet? Coconut oil!

Dry scalp? Coconut oil!

Chapped lips? Coconut oil!

Yeast infection? Coconut oil....

K, I've never tried that last one but my crazy friend Melissa has and she says it works sooo...

2. 

SLEEPING MASKS.

The Sephora sleeping masks are cheat as shit.

They come in little pods that are 1-2 uses (1 if you SLATHER IT ON like me)

& treat a variety of facial woes.

The Lotus one in particular is GREAT for dry skin.

I used this in the winter time and woke up to sheer radiance.

And my face felt like a baby's butt.

Best feeling ever. 

3. 

TINTED MOISTURIZER. 

I honestly can't remember the last time I used real foundation.

ANY foundation I have tried sticks to my dry flakes.

Tinted moisturizer is bae.

But even some of those accentuate my dryness !!

Laura Mercia makes a great one, it glides on like waterrrrr.

I've heard BareMinerals Skin Rescue is also great.

Gotta try that lil baby out.

4. 

MILKY SERUM. 

The NUDE Milk Serum is of course sold out on Sephora.

I shit you not, this one product completely changed my skin.

Even texture, redness reduced, dryness almost completely eliminated.

With a few pumps, your life could be forever changed.

Yeah it's a little expensive for the amount you get,

& I've gone through like 4 in 7 months....

but is it worth it?

7,000% yes. 

5. 

SHIMMER, BABY. 

& you will be the most radiant bitch of all. 

Body Pump damn near killed me.

Yes, and this is not an exaggeration.

So yesterday I took my first Body Pump class after hearing about it from all these wonderful middle-aged personal trainer bloggers with kids and houses who 100% look like they have their lives together.

I wanna be like that, I thought.

I'll try Body Pump, I thought.

My friend and ex-coworker teaches this class up in Enfield so my boyfriend drove me 40 minutes north to have my ass handed to me on a silver platter.

The class began with a full body barbell warm-up that had me thinking "what the hell did I get myself into"

Followed by six minutes of squats. 

Followed by doubting whether or not I'm actually in any kind of shape at all.

With a sprinkle of muscles burning in a way they never have before.

And a dash of a shoulder track that I LITERALLY COULD NOT FINISH. There were grandmothers in there absolutely slaying and I couldn't even lift 5 lb. hand weights above my head. I wish I was kidding.

This was all accompanied by me scrambling with my barbell in between tracks trying to add weight and then take it off because LOLZ I have no muscle strength apparently.

Lunges for a whole, entire song. 5 seconds of rest in between sets. That's sufficient. (no it's not).

It was a full body barbell workout that lasted an HOUR with a killer set of abs thrown in at the end. Just for fun. Or actually to make you cry. You choose.

All jokes aside though, this was honestly one of the best group classes I've ever done. It was super high intensity, high reps, and low weight (even though they ended up feeling like a billion pounds after a four minute song with no rest time).

Each major muscle group gets a full song (or more) of work with minimal rest and short active recovery.

Maybe it's because I mostly just do cardio endurance focused exercise now with my Spinning class obsession and being a Spin instructor, but omfg, did this class make me realize how depleted my muscles are.

I will 100% be taking this class again.

It was hard core and awesome. 

The pros & cons of working at a gym!

I've been working at the front desk and in sales at a gym now for a year and three months. Post college graduation, I was so lost. I worked as a receptionist at a law firm, as a dance teacher, as a substitute teacher in public schools (worst experience EVER), and interviewed to be a nanny. Then on a whim I applied to work at a new gym opening in my town and it's one of the best things that's ever happened to me. But with any good thing, comes some bad, annoying, and downright strange things. Here are the pros and cons of working at a gym.

PROS:
+ You own 20 or more pairs of black leggings, and that's all you ever wear.

+ You're a local celebrity. Almost anywhere you go in town, people recognize you as the front desk girl. Autographs, anyone?

+ You get paid to socialize with people and talk about fitness all day long. Great if you're an extrovert like me! (Possibly horrifying if you're an introvert.)

+ You are in close quarters with your coworkers and will spend hours and hours with them. You'll probably make some of your best friends here! Friends who lift together stay together. #squadgoals

+ You stay inspired by these amazing weight loss stories of your gym members. They are the ones that keep you smiling and remind you why you love this job, one before-after picture at a time!

+ You get a free gym membership and when you clock out, you're already at the gym! No room for excuses there kiddo!

+ If you don't know what to do for your next work out, there is at least one personal trainer on staff who will be more than happen to write you a workout plan that will kick your ass into next week as they stand by watching you and snickering to themselves.

+ You get to listen to bumpin' gym music all day long. And dancing at the front desk is usually not discouraged.

+ If you don't reach your daily step goal every day, you're not trying hard enough. You have a big ass gym to walk around all day. Between hourly walkthroughs of the facility, dancing at the front desk, and even walking to the bathroom, I usually hit 5,000 steps alone while I'm at work. Bam, bitches!

+ Sometimes people are in the best mood when they come in to work out. They ask you questions, engage in conversations about fitness, and make you feel like a powerful, all-knowing, expert-on-everything health and wellness goddess. Bow down.

+ The feeling of selling a gym membership to someone who is just so damn excited. You can tell how much this means to them. They're taking their health into their hands and they're committed. They're excited. They're asking questions and signing up for classes. These people are the bomb. The easiest sale and the most inspiring, by far.

CONS:
- You own 20 or more pairs of black leggings, and THAT'S ALL YOU EVER WEAR.

- You're a local celebrity. You can't even go buy a box of tampons at RiteAid without someone recognizing you as the front desk girl.

- For the most part, all of your coworkers are good-looking so there's a good chance at least a handful of them have hooked up with each other. Drama at the workplace, woohoo!

- You are in close quarters with your coworkers for hours and hours. You will get sick of each other. They'll do infuriating things and be stupid af sometimes. But isn't this true of all jobs???

- You spend nearly all of your 8 hour shift standing and walking around. Ouch, legs.

- You can't work out at your own gym for more than 10 minutes without someone who recognizes you as the front desk girl asking you for help on how a piece of equipment works. Sigh.

- Strange humans will hit on you, ask you out, and maybe even propose to you. Hey, it happened to my manager. It can happen to you. Consider buying a fake, plastic (but shiny and convincing) engagement ring for yo'self.

- Sometimes people are in the worst mood when they come in to work out! They can be a little dark cloud of frustration and angst. Your job is to break through this and make them smile!

- Any kind of billing issue. Damn, people sure can get pissed about their money.

- Trying to sell a gym membership to a frustrating person. There are those people who walk into the gym in a confused daze, are convinced they know everything about fitness and don't need classes, or need more time to "think about it". These people are so irritating! I'm sorry but if you have let yourself get to a point where you know you need a gym membership, there is no time to think about it. Especially if a doctor is telling you to. Trust me. I have your best interest at heart. I want to be the first chapter of your success story and I want to witness you achieve your goals. Trust me! Get a gym membership! Take the classes! It works if you work!


In all honestly, working at a gym is super frustrating sometimes but it changed my life for the better in all ways. I'm more active, happier, more social and outgoing, and I really have met some of my best friends here. If you're thinking of working at a gym and don't know if it might be right for you, ask yourself these questions:

• Do you genuinely enjoy being around people constantly?
• Is fitness and health a major part of your life? 
• Could you stand being on your feet for almost your whole shift?
• Do you handle rejection and frustration well/are you able to shake things off easily?
• Can you be over-the-top, enthusiastic, and motivational for a whole bunch of people who NEED you to inspire them to even enter the gym?

If you answered YES to these, then go for it! And let me know how it goes.

Do any of you work in a gym?

What are the front desk workers at your gym like?

Would you even consider working at a gym if you don't now? 

The "month" without dessert

LOL, so the reason why month is in quotation marks is obviously because I totally failed at this monthly challenge. I broke this weekend. Broke in half like a dried out chicken bone.

Instead of my month without dessert, I will tell you about my 11 days without dessert.

I began this challenge on the very first day of March to challenge myself to resist desserts. Not all sugars, because even I can acknowledge that that would be damn near impossible for me to do right off the get. But things that I was previously eating in abundance, that were obviously sugary and bad for me.

Donuts. Cookies. Chocolate. Candies. Cake. Cupcakes. Ice cream. 

You get it now? I would literally have a donut for breakfast, six cookies when I got home from work, and four Reeses cups in between teaching dance classes. Not to mention my addiction to sugary iced coffee syrups. I weened myself off that awhile ago but I used to get an iced coffee from Dunkin almost EVERY DAY over the summer.

So yes, the challenge commenced on March 1st. And I was actually doing a great job!
What worked for me was that I completely avoided looking inside places that had the forbidden food. I didn't even open the cabinets in my house once in 11 days. Because that is where all the gross processed food is usually kept! So I'm actually sure I also ate a lot less processed food in 11 days too.

One that I noticed was that I didn't crave it too much. But I was slightly irritable. I got my period near the beginning of the month and struggled through that to resist eating comfort food. I would say that I definitely noticed craving other foods more strongly. Like cheese, for example. And pasta. So things that are also not so good for me, but not as terrible as sugar.

What broke me was Lucas's mother. His annoyingly retired, blissfully baking mother. Who cooked the most moist and delicious looking Guinness brownies on Saturday that I literally could not resist. I had ONE BITE. And that was a slippery slope that led to two brownies for breakfast, chocolate lava cake for dessert after lunch, and two Reeses Christmas trees before dance class yesterday.

I'll be honest. It was a sweet relief to eat something delicious and chocolatey again. But after having a couple of bites, I didn't go back in for more (AND MORE AND MORE AND MORE) like I usually would. I think once your body is off sugar for a little while, it realizes how overpoweringly sweet the taste is and it's a little overwhelming. Almost too rich. But omg so delicious.

So that's that. I failed! But I'm shocked at my own willpower for those 11 days. And who's to say I can't break that record. I can put those Reeses Christmas trees behind me and set my sights for the next 12, 13, maybe even 14 days! The sky is the limit. Time to put locks on the cupboards.

The multiple personalities of Sick Danielle

(Above: wearing one of my many tiny college skirts in the dead of winter and almost definitely pretending I’m not sick.)

I honestly don’t know how anyone deals with me when I’m sick. Pour some out for my awesome mom who would pick me up from school ON THE REG (I was a very sick kid) and be the most patient, gentle parent ever while I screamed and whined. She still does that sometimes now but it includes a lot more eye rolls and sighs when I yell for chicken soup from across the house.

Being sick is a funny thing. I don’t get sick too often anymore but when I do, no one really knows what they’re going to get. For example, a couple of months ago I told my boyfriend that I’m an absolute bitch when I’m sick. Which can be true. But this morning when I woke up with a horrible head cold, surrounded by snotty balled-up Kleenex tissues, I was a blubbery baby mess. So here I’ve tried to compile by multiple personalities of when I’m sick. Maybe this field guide will help my poor loved ones tiptoe around my sleeping mass with some idea of what they’ll be getting when I roar back to life.

The Angry Bitchy Sick. Usually reserved for when I have terrible cramps during that time of the month. If you’re healthy and active when I am this way, I likely hate you. I also hate being talked to, being looked at the wrong way, and anyone telling me that I’m gross when I describe the actions happening in my uterus as “a red tidal wave of suffering and destruction” or “a waterfall of blood”. I’m sick and I can say whatevever I DAMN WELL PLEASE.

The Sad Pathetic Baby Sick. I honestly don’t know which is worse, the first one or this one. I suppose it can be endearing when I whine like a toddler, pout, throw tissues and empty Kleenex boxes on the ground, and refuse to eat or shower if no one is telling me to. For about 5 minutes. This kind of sick is when I have a cold or stomach ache. Essentially I can revert back to infant-hood in mere hours and I will refuse to speak except for in short bursts of syllables like “MEHK!” Sexy, I know.

The I’m-Not-Sick Sick. This happens occasionally when I have a lot going on in my life, like when I actually don’t have time to be sick and a lot of people are relying on me or I have a lot of events going. It was also a side effect of being a senior in college having just turned 21 that December. Ahhhhh, good times. While I am an old and washed up grandmother right now, senior year of college Danielle would never hesitate to leave the house on the Thursday night wearing only a black bodycon skirt and a tank top, in the dead of winter, with a terrible sinus infection. So wait, we have to wait outside the bar for an hour before getting let in because it’s over capacity? No problem. My nose is running like a faucet and I’m shivering uncontrollably but I shoved some tissues in my push-up bra and I’ll huddle with #mysquad for warmth. 23 year old Danielle looks back on these times and is absolutely horrified.

The Bipolar Manic Depressive Sick. Being sick can sometimes be a catalyst for an existential meltdown. How am I alive? Why aren’t I just dead? I’m dying, really, I am. Then suddenly a burst of energy will overcome me. Well I’m not at school/work today because I’m sick! ….I can clean out the closet like I’ve been meaning to for months! I can watch all those TV shows I’ve never had time for! I can sort all those clothes and donate them to Goodwill! I can meal prep for the next week! And this usually results in an energetic spree lasting about 45 minutes, after which you will find me passed out in my wrecked room laying on the ground in pile of dirty clothes.

The Healthy and Productive Sick. Being sick makes me want to no longer be a contributing member of society. But every once in awhile I will suck it up and actually try making myself FEEL BETTER instead of wallowing in misery and pain. Because let’s be real for a second, everyone loves to wallow at some point. Sometimes it is to make other people feel bad for us! And sometimes it’s because we are just too lazy or tired to take care of ourselves. But the secret here is that when you force yourself to get up and take care of yourself, you actually end up FEELING BETTER. At least that’s what I’ve found on these rare occasions.

So I will get up out of bed and the most important first step is to SHOWER. It’s unreal how that hot water will ease pain, headaches, and stuffy noses. If you’re gonna get real fancy, use some eucalyptus body wash because the scent is shown to promote relaxation and clear sinuses. Then I’ll make myself a cup of tea with honey to soothe my sore throat. When you’re sick your body uses up calories to fight off your illness which is why people loose weight being sick. I’ll try to fuel my body with some complex carbs like whole wheat toast and avocado for some healthy fat. Grapefruit has a ton of vitamin C and it’s so refreshing that it makes me feel more awake. I won’t do my makeup like crazy but I’ll put on a TON of face moisturizer to combat rubbing all those tissues against my nose, some tinted moisturizer on top of that, and fill in my eyebrows with some tinted eyebrow gel. I will feel so much more refreshed and actually somewhat presentable! It’s hard not to lay in bed all day, but try doing something low key productive like reading a magazine on the couch or catching up on your fav blogs. Some people like remaining miserable but we are not those people, am I right??

So now, it’s time for me to roll out of bed and do all of those good things for myself. Because as I type this, I am laying in bed, surrounded by a village of dirty tissues, with my glasses on and my hair a dirty frizzy mess.

Questions:
+ Do you have any multiple sick day personalities?
+ Do you pamper yourself in any way when you’re feeling under the weather?
+ Do your parents/significant other put up with your sick day shit like mine (sometimes) do?

If you aren't eating breakfast you are sabotaging yourself!

Since switching my hours drastically from second shift to the morning shift (5AM – 1PM) I’ve learned that breakfast is literally maybe (ok not literally but close) the most important thing you will do all day.

If I don’t pack breakfast I feel helpless, frantic, and exhausted by 10AM. This is why breakfast is literally your most important meal of the day and why, if you aren’t eating it, you’re sabotaging your metabolism, health, energy levels, and OVERALL HAPPINESS FOR THE WHOLE DAY.

 Yesterday morning I woke up at 4:00AM and didn’t drink water or eat anything until 9:00AM. SABOTAGE. I have literally not felt more sluggish or terrible in months. That is 5 hours of being awake without nourishment or hydration. Actually…

 When you don’t eat or drink anything upon waking up in the morning, you have to consider that your body is also going the whole time you’re sleeping without food or water. Soooo to do a bit of quick math, I get a little less than 6 hours of sleep a night (I know, it’s terrible). But my body went 11 hours without food or water yesterday. ELEVEN HOURS. I can’t stress to you how miserable I felt. The easiest thing to do, for me, is keep a bottle of water on your nightstand and take nice long, slow sips right the second you wake up. Your metabolism doesn’t start working until there’s food in your body to burn. Again, depending on how long after eating you go to sleep, and how long you sleep, your body is going a long time without you putting food into it. Put food in your body within the first hour of you being awake to wake up your metabolism! I highly recommend something with protein in it, like a protein shake or peanut butter and banana smoothie, or even a packet of instant oatmeal with added fiber or protein.

Your breakfast is a set up for the rest of the day. Usually how I start my day eating-wise is how I end my day… unless I start my day with a yogurt parfait and end it with 5 homemade chocolate chip cookies. It happens! But most times, if I start out eating healthy and giving myself energy, that carries through to the rest of the day and influences the rest of my choices.

I am 100% a creature of habit when it comes to breakfast.
I’ll be eating either:

• yogurt with granola/fruit 
• scrambled eggs with feta cheese and spinach 
• instant oatmeal packet with added fiber/protein 
• banana with peanut butter 

These things are so easy to throw together and you can even make eggs in the microwave. Just eat breakfast, you will literally thank yourself so much for it!!!!