how to hold onto that summer feeling (+ tips to avoid S.A.D.)

So, Happy Labor Day!

Unfortunately, with the marking of Labor Day comes the inevitable spiral into fall and colder months. I'm someone who has actually struggled consistently with SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). I just realized this (along with the help of my trusty therapist) this year, so trying to prevent + treat these symptoms is a new challenge for me.

With that comes my undeniable urge to hold onto that summer feeling.

I don't know if it's just me, but there seems to be such a different mentality in the summer months. The days are longer. People are less rushed. Time spent outside with friends is more precious than time spent inside binging Netflix. Life seems a little bit lighter.

How can we hold onto that feeling? I definitely think there are a few ways to bring a summery outlook into the colder months ahead. Here are some ideas that I'll be trying to put into play.

1. Say yes to activities. 
It's so easy to say no when the weather outside is frightful. In the summer, I'm down for anything. Try to maintain the same level of enthusiasm for leaving the house to hang out with friends, even when it's more appealing to lay under four fleece blankets at home.

2. Keep your routine light + easy.
Trends tell us that we need to go dark and moody in the fall and winter. No, you don't have to! If summery vibes are what make you happy, keep your nails white and your makeup light. I know I probably will be.

3. Soak up some sun.
Wake up a little earlier to watch the sun come up or get outside for at least 20 minutes before the sun sets. Take a vitamin D supplement. Surround your living space in bright light, natural light if you can. Try to find a natural full spectrum sunlight lamp that mimics the actual sun like this one. I haven't tried one of these lamps yet, but I definitely have plans to.

4. Stay healthy + active.
Winter used to be my hibernation time, which I think contributes to my SAD (not enough vitamin D and not enough endorphins). I'll be making a huge effort to maintain a steady workout schedule. Also, my body is NOT usually keen on fresh fruits and veggies in the colder months, but I gotta force it down. Less homemade mac&cheese + more spinach salads = more energy.

5. Don't isolate.
Maybe this goes hand in hand with saying yes to activities, but try not to spend too much time indoors, alone, in your own house. Unless you're an introvert, in which case you may love hibernating in the wintertime. I am a total extrovert in the sense that I get energy and recharge from being around people. Winter is a nightmare for me, especially when heavy snow forces people indoors for stretches at time. Even going to the gym or a group fitness class and being around people is sufficient exposure to humanity.


That's what I've got so far. Good luck friends! This isn't to say that I don't ADORE certain aspects of fall + winter (both of which will likely become separate blog posts). I just have a strong love for summer and a deep rooted fear of the depressed feelings that I associate with colder, darker months.

Again, Happy Labor Day!
Do you, or anyone you know, struggle with SAD?
What are your Labor Day plans?! 

I'm working until 1pm, then relaxing hard core, catching up on Big Brother, and likely chowing down on some potato salad and a veggie burger with some friends/family :)

Leave a comment, it means so much for me to actively engage with anyone awesome enough to start a conversation on this blog!

Follow afloat on a full sea on Bloglovin!  

What I've Learned From Therapy

No matter what anyone tells you, therapy is normal & healthy.

How can anyone be expected to carry all of their emotions, thoughts, & worries with them 24/7? 

It's impossible.

And if you're constantly unloading on your friends and family members, you can start to feel like a burden. Been there, done that. I'LL PASS.

I love my therapist. She's like my friend that my insurance pays to talk & listen to me, who is completely unbiased and provides the best insight. 

It doesn't hurt that she's about 65 years old, has been practicing for 40 years, and is basically a surrogate grandmother. 

She's taught me so much about myself & helped me grow into a MUCH stronger person than when I started therapy about two years ago. (my process of starting therapy is a blog post/novel in itself)

In Defense of Being Extremely Passive Aggressive

Like all people will say about their less desirable personality traits: I haven't always been this way.

I am a product of my environment. Shaped from the actions and reactions of others, the way I was raised, the kind of situations I was brought into by adults I loved and trusted.

Do you know any non-confrontational people who are also the most passive aggressive people you've ever met? That's me. Hi, nice to meet you, and if you forget to wash your dishes I prooobably won't make eye contact with you for several days.

What does it mean to be passive aggressive?

Urban dictionary (my favorite dictionary & the most accurate dictonary, imho) describes passive aggressiveness as:

"a defense mechanism that allows people who aren't comfortable being openly aggressive to get what they want under the guise of still wanting to please others. They want their way, but they also want everyone to still like them." 

AND 

"act of doing something specifically to piss someone off, but with the cover of 'I didn't realize it would bother you.'" 

(source)

BOTH ARE SO TRUE.

Yes, I hate confrontation more than anyone I know. I'm only comfortable yelling at my family and my boyfriend (*they see my true colors*). But yes, I will also say and do things to piss off people who have wronged me, in a way that is both subtle and extremely irritating.

For example, these are the favorite words of a passive aggressive person (spoken in a monotone while avoiding eye contact, or texted using lots of capital letters and periods):

"It's fine."

"I guess."

"Ok."

"I appreciate it."

"We can do whatever you want to do." 

"I don't care." 

Translations: 
"It's absolutely not fine and I'm really annoyed."
"I'm trying to get you to change your mind because I think that whatever you're saying is stupid."
"Not okay. But you don't realize it because you have the thickest skull recorded in human history."
"Whatever apology you're trying to give me is half-assed and unacceptable."
"The absolute last thing I want to do is whatever you want to do."
"I do care and you should know that, you dim witted slimeball."

This is the thing about passive aggressive people. We don't like to fight. We don't like to yell. We just want to be understood.

And we have really high expectations of people. 

You know how the worst feeling in the whole world as a kid when you snuck out of the house to go to the movies with your boyfriend, then got pulled out of the theater by your hair by your irate mother because HELLO, parents aren't stupid and they figure this sh*t out, wasn't the shrieking and uncontrolled anger of your mother, but the cold and crushing disappointment of your father?
(I love run-on sentences.)

No?

Just me?

Awkward.

Well, maybe feeling that disappointment from our parents teaches us that it isn't loud anger that makes people feel like sh*t for the things they've done wrong, but the silence. When someone wrongs me by taking my laundry out of the washer and leaving it to get moldy and musty in the basement, I don't want them to know why I hate them. I just want them to feel that fiery hate, and wonder what they did wrong. Until they realize it and feel really badly about it. LIGHTBULB MOMENT.

Does this make me sounds like a psychopath? Absolutely. But c'mon, we've all been there.

To be fair, I'm a generally laid back person. I don't get angry about stupid things. I really just have several basic needs: food, sleep, and respect. BAM, THAT'S IT.

When you mess with one of those things, it ain't gonna be pretty.

Because YES, I am passive aggressive and I'll sing it loud and proud. I want respect, but I'm too non-confrontational to demand it. I want change, but I'm too spiteful to ask for it.

I have high expectations of people and when I am disappointed in them, I want them to figure out why for themselves.

Are you passive aggressive or confrontational? Do you think I'm a sociopath based on this post? I promise I'm not. We can definitely be friends. As long as you wash your dirty dishes. Lolz. 

Are vacations the best, or actually the worst?!

The jury is out on whether going on vacation is the best thing ever, or actually, the WORST. 

I have a huge personal problem with readjusting my routine. I get very comfortable with doing things a certain way, no matter what the circumstances are, and disrupting that order seriously disrupts my life sometimes! For example, once I get into the routine of waking up for work at 4am every day, that's that. That's what I'm used to and that is the baseline upon which I am functioning. In contrast, when I go on vacation, that's all thrown out of whack. I can adjust quickly to an easier routine (sleeping in til 9am, not going to the gym, and going out for breakfast everyday? EASY.)

But readjusting to a more difficult routine? I haven't been in such great denial since my university forced me to graduate college.

I used to get so worked up about the imminent despair of returning to work after going on vacation that, at times, I couldn't even enjoy simply being on vacation! This is definitely something to meditate on, and the first bullet point I'll reflect on in how to survive returning to work/real life from vacation.

1. Be present while you're away. Nothing is going to ruin your peace and bliss and happy time like even giving a second thought to everything waiting at home for you. That doesn't exist in your current world. Stay safe in your vacation cocoon-bubble. It'll pop sooner or later. But not now. Sip your fruity drink, umbrella included, by the pool/ocean/mountain-side/in your kitchen. Clear your mind now because it's the only way to feel refreshed when you return to real life.

2. Readjust slowly, if possible. I am a huge fan of giving myself ONE very important buffer day in between vacation and real life. I'm back into reality, but just dipping my little toe in. I don't have work, but I do try to wake up a little bit earlier, schedule a doctor's appointment, and run some errands. Like I said, we aren't diving headfirst into work and responsibilities. But we are wading into the shallow end of shit we have to get done.

3. Resist denial and prepare yourself. I mentioned above my extreme denial of being forced to graduate college. I'll tell you what that denial caused me to do. Go out drinking at least three times a week, every week second semester and proceed to be hungover ALL THE TIME. Not apply for anything but the bare minimum of what I needed for internships. Not prepare a resume. Not apply to any jobs I was qualified for. Move back home with my parents, and proceed to work a bunch of shitty jobs that I hated. That is a huge scale example of what happens when you're in denial. Early in the day on your buffer day, do everything imaginable to make you first day back in real life as smooth as possible. Do all your laundry, fold it, and lay out your clothes for the next day. Pack your lunch and utensils. Shower and do your hair. Plan everything meticulously so that nothing can go wrong and you are smooth sailin'.

4. Approach your first day back feeling refreshed, recharged, and appreciated.  Let's break this one into those three main words.

• Refreshed - If you usually see the same people every day at your job like I do, you feel excited and energized to see them again and catch up with their lives. You're engaged in your work again. Sometimes a couple of mental health days are all you need to fix that burnt out feeling that a lot of people get at work.
• Recharged - Hopefully you were able to catch up on some quality sleep during your time off. Your eyes are clearer and brighter, and you have more energy because you've been able to fully charge up your battery to 100%. Adios red and yellow battery bars. 
• Appreciated - If people in your real life/work environment value you as a person and employee, you should feel showered with appreciation when you return. Sometimes people need absence to understand how much they need and love someone. I hope you get this feeling when you return to real life! It's a good one! 

My vacation was only four days, but in all honestly, it felt like almost a week! I'm really trying to implement all of my own advice to make my transition back into real life and work more bearable today. But oooooh my goodness, how I miss sleepin' in in my cozy bed. Sorry but it's the truth! 

Does anyone out there have any neat advice for transitioning back to real life after a vacation away from it all? Lemme know in a comment below!