Reflecting on 2016.

2015 was one of the best years of my life. You can read all about that here.

I think I've been having trouble writing blog posts this week because I don't have anything inspiring or poetic or motivational to say about 2016, like I did this time last year. My recap of the year is right here, so you can see what I actually did... but it's harder to explain how I feel.

I feel like 2016 was a year filled with grappling for things to do to pass the time, for making plans and then failing to execute them, or for not making plans at all. I am frustrated that I wasted 8 weeks on a course that I didn't end up needing. I am frustrated that I put so much energy into pursuing a grad school program that I realized wasn't right for me. I am frustrated that I am still living with my parents in Connecticut. I am frustrated that I'm in such bad credit card debt.

So 2016 was quite a frustrating year. 

And not just for me, I think a vast majority of people share these bitter feelings towards 2016.

I've already written a whole entire roadmap for 2017 and my 24th year... but this is what I want for myself in 2017...

I want to try new things and say yes to experiences.
I want to stop stressing out so much about money.
I want to be valued in my employment position more than I am now.
I want to be present in my interactions with other people.
I want to be a kind and gentle and calm and funny person.
I want to be less judgmental of things and people, even if I don't agree with them.
I want to travel so badly that it's an ache in my chest that will not go away.

How are you going to make your fresh start better than before? What are actionable things that you're actually DOING?

Let's learn from our mistakes and, if we had a year that we aren't proud of, let's do what we can to make this next one the best.

Look Back At It (2016)

The year is coming to a close. As we all know, and as many of us feel, 2016 was not a super popular year. I cannot sit here and complain about my menial tragedies, knowing of the heartache and sadness going on in the world on a daily basis.

All we can do is continue being kind to one another, giving up our time, and doing what we can in even the smallest of ways. And I think that we're only in the capacity to do that when we're acting and living as our best selves.

In 2016, I was not my best self.

Depression gripped ahold of me again in the winter months (likely seasonal affective disorder, super fun), I wasted money on a college pre-requisite that I didn't need, my relationship went through drastic ups and downs, I won't even begin to get political but.. you know. And I failed to begin graduate school in September AGAIN. I don't know how many more times I can do this.

Alas. Alas alas alas. A wise person once said:

You can't drive forward by looking in the rearview mirror. 

So we're gonna live like this for 2017. But in order to assure myself that the past 365 days were not, in fact, a wash... here is a recap of what I was able to accomplish in 2016. No matter how small it may feel, it is, in fact, worth something.

January
- took a Yoga class, celebrated a dogs birthday party, went to a fancy restaurant, built a bookcase
- went ice skating in Bushnell Park
- made a vision board

Februrary

- surprised L with a custom license plate for his bday

- house sitted (sat?) for a week
- highlighted my whole head with blonde (effectively destroying my hair, lol)
- got Spinning certified!

March
- took my first Zumba class
- went out to lunch instead of attenting a St. Paddy's Day parade because I belong in a retirement home, went for a day trip to Rhode Island
- bought a car!

April
- took a Rhode Island vacation and performed a dance piece at my alma mater!
- took my first BodyPump class
- went hiking and grilled outside for the first time since the deep freeze
- went to a wacky antique shop and a Polish festival all in one day
- took a Spinning class taught by an unbelievably inspiring guy with cerebral palsy

May 
- ran the furthest I've ever run (4.5 miles) as I started training for a 10K
- visited the flowers and gardens in Elizabeth Park in West Hartford
- went for a weekend trip to NYC for L's cousin's graduation party
- saw Finding Neverland on Broadway!
- wore a bathing suit and went to a lake for the first time since winter

June 
- took an accelerated summer anatomy course that I didn't end up needing...
- attended a baby shower
- performed in and witnessed my dance studio's annual recital!
- spent a lot of time studying but still managed to do so over amazing pizza and a glass of white sangria...
- did a Night Nation 5K!
- went to my first food truck festival!
- grilled hot dogs and jumped off a cliff at a swimming hole/waterfall

July 

- made red, white, and blue jello shots

- went stand up paddle boarding!

- had lunch on Martha's Vineyard

- hosted a cook out

- visited a lakehouse with my extended family

- visited L's sister in the hospital right after she gave birth

- went to Rockport, MA to see two of my best friends from college

- went to the Dance Teacher Summit in NYC!

August
- ran in a Blacklight 5K with some of my good friends
- took my first barre class! 
- spent 17 hours in the ER
- started teaching summer dance classes, my FAVORITE time to teach!

September
- went to a butterfly garden for the first time! 
- went to wedding at the Bronx zoo
- went to quite a few Farmer's markets
- went to The Big E in West Springfield, MA!

October
- dyed my hair pink! 
- went to a crazy dance performance with puppets, costumes, and stilts!
- went to a happy hour and got completely wasted before 7pm
- took a drive on an amazing scenic route of southern Connecticut
- went to a Halloween party and visited Salem, MA! 

November
- took my dog for a LOT of walks
- got my nose pierced
- made Christmas cards for veterans
- went out to a bar on Thanksgiving Eve like a cool twenty-something!
- spent Thanksgiving Day with two families

December
- celebrated one year of blogging!
- went to SantaCon in New York City!
- visited the infamous Christmas House in Torrington, CT
- dyed my hair red red red
- went out to dinner with my parents and L for my birthday
- got a Kindle! can't wait to read literally everything

The verdict is still out on how I'm choosing to ring in the new year. Odds are it won't be at home in jammies this time. I truly feel like that was a bad omen for my entire year.

The year may have felt empty, but it does look pretty full.

But here's to being our best selves in 2017, yeah?
What is your favorite thing you did in 2016?

Roadmap for 2017 + My 24th Year

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me!!! 
Today, I am 24. I am taking the day off from work, sleeping in a bit, making myself a delicious breakfast, going to the gym, getting a massage, and teaching a dance class. Woo!

Since my birthday is so close to NYE, I'm going to combine my goals/bucket list/resolutions for the new year with my ambitions for my 24th year of life. All smashed together into one big shmorgasborg of a shit ton of things I want to get done in 2017.

2016 was a failed year. I hate to be dramatic, but it feels that way in retrospect. I did accomplish some things, try out some new stuff, and see some new places. But all in all, I felt unbelievable stagnant. I like to keep things positive, but it is what it is.

ON TO THE NEXT ONE. 

The mottos: 

The poetic approach:
The same time will go by and where will you be?
yearning for more or finally free...


Here is a list all the non-time-sensitive things I want to accomplish, try, fail at, see, do, experience, and test out in the next 365 days of approaching closer and closer to my quarter life crisis. I may write these down on a giant poster board and hang them in my room, but there's no precise time table for getting these done, I just want to eventually (this year!)

1. Do a polar plunge.
2. Participate in a Whole 30 eating plan.
3. Attend a gay pride event. 
4. Train for and complete a 10k.
5. Have someone perform Reiki on me. 
6. Take a professional dance class. 
7. Go hiking in Vermont. 
8. Take an aerial Yoga class.
9. Distribute hot cocoa and coffee to crossing guards in the winter. 
10. Go to an outdoor concert (I didn't go to a single one in 2017!)


YEAR LONG, ON-GOING GOALS: 

• Take a short video every day of the year, to create a 365 second long 1SE video.
• Dance once a week and record myself improvising to all of my favorite songs. Compile the video. Witness the growth. 
• Get out of cc debt (or as close as possible). 
• Stretching and yoga, to me, is the truest form of self-care. Implement as often as possible. 
• Eat clean clean and cleaner still. You can do it, biotch. 
• Take deeper freakin' breaths. Pause before speaking. Radiate the light you know is inside of you, daily. 

GOALS SPECIFIC TO MONTHS: 

January - apply to freakin' grad school. 

February - surprise L with a Valentine's Day homemade meal or sappy present because I am a weak, weak person. 

March - go to a St. Paddy's Day parade, visit Aunt Natalie in Atlanta and take a day trip to Savannah, GA!

April - start training for a 10K, hopefully decide where I am going to grad school!!! 

May - start process of apartment hunting. 

June - complete a 10K.

July - go to a super fun 4th of July event, with fireworks and sparklers! 

August - decide where I am going to be living for the next indeterminate number of years, move there, either travel internationally or compete an intensive 2-week yoga teacher training course in Costa Rica or somewhere equally unbelievable. 

September - start grad school (!!!!)

October - celebrate Halloween either Boston-style or Pumpkin Fest-style in Keene, NH. All depends on where I decide for grad school. 

November - Go home for Thanksgiving and write down at least one thing I'm grateful for each day for the whole month. 

December - Bake 1,000 Christmas cookies, volunteer my time at a shelter of some kind, see the Rockette's Christmas Spectacular.

This is 100x more intense year planning than what I did in 2016 so I'm hoping and praying that this year goes according to plan. Of course, with a little wiggle room for spontaneity :)

Cheers to a new year, new beginnings, new chances, and 365 opportunities to make it count. 

The Friday Five

This week... this week has been ROUGH.

This is the week that I want to just quit my job like a badass - drop an armful of paperwork all over the ground, grab my belongings, and stomp out the door with a big fat PEACE OUT. That is how fed up I am with work.

My dance classes were all over the place this week. They are rambunctious. It's almost Christmas. I understand this, but oh my goodness they were a struggle.

My mind is all over the place with my grad school applications. My college professors have almost all submitted their recommendations for me. I still have to speak with an admissions counselor for one school. But then yesterday I started contemplating a 20 day yoga teacher training retreat in another country... so there's that.

But! Here are five things about this week that brought the spark, yah?

Peppermint Bark
One of my coworkers recently returned to work from an injury and she brought with her a GIANT plate of peppermint bark and some kind of mystical blondie bar that contained m&m's, coconut, and walnuts. But the peppermint bark literally had to have had crack in it. I can confidently say that I singlehandedly ate two-thirds of that plate. Now my mom bought ingredients to make a similar recipe this weekend so I may actually just turn into a plate of peppermint bark.

Got it done lists
Recently I've been making got-it-done lists in my brain dump journal instead of to-do lists in my planner. It makes me feel infinitely better about myself to see all the shit I got done in a day (and it's usually a lot more than it feels like!) than all the shit I was too lazy to do and didn't get around to.
  
Full body circuits
For awhile I've been doing workouts just based on one or two body parts at a time (ex. back and biceps day, shoulder day, etc) but on Tuesday I did a full body circuit incorporating one or two exercises for EACH body part. So I did a circuit of chest, then a superset of back and biceps, a tricet of triceps, shoulders, and abs, and a tricet of legs, legs, and abs. And it was KILLER. I mainly focused on cables, but used a resistance band and kettle bells as well. I definitely recommend at least a couple days of full body.

Best of 2016 Spotify playlist
Spotify regularly kills it with my Discover playlist, but they put together a big one of all my most played songs from 2016. So basically all my favorite songs from a whole year all in one spot, and I didn't have to do any work to get them there. Thanks Spotify!

Back to the old...
I was a redhead for the later part of high school and all four years of college. Then I had a change of heart and decided I needed to go blonde. Now my hair looks and feels like straw and it's time to go back to the tried and true. I loved being a redhead! Today's the day!

& one unfavorite... CAR TAXES. How is it that every year I forget about car taxes? Well, last year I didn't have to pay them because a couple of weeks before they were due, I totaled my car. This year it's really cramping my style and pretty much all of my birthday money is just going to my unfortunate car taxes. Ugh.

HAPPY FRIDAY! do you have any holiday plans? Time is running out! My mom are and I are making peppermint bark, I hope to finish up my Christmas shopping (lol) and I would really love to see home holiday lights. My friends and I might also go to that Cirque du Soleil holiday show. We'll see!

The Drafts Trash Bin, 2016

I think we can all agree that there are some posts in your drafts folder that you are just NEVER going to take the time to write... that, and then there are the posts you wrote a title for and looking back you have no idea what you are talking about.

Welcome to my Drafts folder trash bin, 2016 edition, because for 2017 I'd like to throw out the old to make way for the new. Yes, and that includes unwritten blog posts. Here we go...

On Killing The Innocent - here I was going to write an opinion post on hunting because a beautiful, majestic deer with antlers (they're called bucks? My suburbia is showing...) crossed the road in front of me on my way home from work and it frikkin took my breath away. And I was like how could anyone kill one of these amazing animals???

The First Frost of the Year - a round-up of the coziest activities I could think of. Still a good idea! I just never got around to writing it. I actually made it this far though:

this is a post all about chillier temperatures and getting cozy cozy cozy.
- recipe for magical instant frost eliminator
- what i've been reading (harry potter)
- dreaming of... a log cabin birthday in the mountains with friends, hot cocoa, baking, drinking wine and eating cheese, sledding, movie marathons, snow ball fights, a roaring fire in a giant stone fireplace.
- my favorite way to drink my hot chocolate (with baileys, cinnamon, whipped cream, and chocolate shavings)
- article about hygge
- how i've been combating seasonal depression early on
- cozy wish list: barefoot dreams beanie hat, boot socks, softest sweater with a cowl neck

Adios, To-Do Lists! - an unwritten post on why I briefly stopped writing to-do lists altogether because they were giving me unnecessary anxiety.

Secretly From California - in another life I'll return as a SoCal surfer gal, and this is what I wrote about that:

A flowy maroon muscle tank with a lace print, destroyed medium-wash boyfriend jeans (cuffed twice at the ankle), flat sandals with brown and black straps, with sunglasses with blue lenses, naturally curly frizzy hair, minimal make-up, semi-tanned skin, and an easy smile.

My friend Shawn told me that I looked like I was from California, and this is about the best compliment he could have given me.

Because You Never Can Know - you can never know exactly what people are going through so...



The Anxiety of Living a Good Life - an interesting title.... sometimes I feel a lot of pressure to live my best life always because YOLO, and sometimes it gives me anxiety because we're not always ON 100% of the time, you know?

Realness: When You Feel Broke As A Joke - lol lol lol lol

6 Strangers from Dating Apps... a love story - again, lol lol lol. and there was no love story at the end of this, so idk what I was talking about.

That Time I Was Literally Allergic To My Leggings - I think it had something to do with the laundry detergent not washing out completely, but it involved a LOT of itching, a rash, and my s/o having to drive to my job and bring me a very loose pair of sweatpants.

Never Underestimate a Sagittarius - not sure where I was going with this one, but it's true. Never do it.

Goodbyeeeeeeeeeeee, drafts folder! 
What's the status of your drafts? Is it time for a cleanup or a massive writing day to just write them all out?

The (Belated) Friday Five

Don't you love when you schedule a post, but then forget to finish and post it? So here we are, with a much belated Friday Five.

I just had some pretty cool stuff to talk about, so I figured I'd throw this up anyways! Better late then never.

The Christmas House
This is a Christmas attraction located in Torrigton, CT that we drove about 50 minutes to go and see. Anything to get into the Christmas spirit! The man who owns this house doesn't charge a dime to enter his twisted, magical, slightly claustrophobic winter wonderland. It's truly indescribable, but the outside of the house is coated from top to bottom in lights and decorations, but the inside is where the real magic is. His collection of moving dolls, memorabilia, working toy trains, and figurines is utterly incredible. The lighting is so dim that you can't really get photos that will do any justice to the inside of this house. His electric bill is nearly $1,800 during the time he has the lights up, so he has donation boxes all around and I'd definitely recommend donating.

Pura Vida bracelets
These bracelets are something that I didn't realize I wanted until I saw them on some random blog for 50% off for Black Friday/Cyber Monday. I think they make great little gifts (and presents to yourself) because they benefit such a good cause. Plus, as you know, I loveeee Costa Rica. They really capture that effortless, easy-going, surfer gal vibe that I'm constantly striving for.

Being a redhead again
Guys, I think the blondie days are coming to a close. I've recently been obsessing over what I used to look like as a redhead and it really did wonders for my skin tone. We'll see if I can squeeze a hair appointment into my schedule before the year is over...

Dancing With The Stars
I believe this TV show is on Hulu, and L and I have been watching it pretty non-stop. It's just so joyous and over the top! We rarely agree on shows to watch, and this is one that we actually both enjoy watching together. I don't even know if we're on the current season (Laurie Hernandez?) but the props, costumes, and gorgeous dancing bodies make us both smile like little idiots.

Tumblr
This website used to be my LIFE in high school and college. Then it kind of dropped off of my radar. Not anymore. I'm using my Tumblr as a very personal dumping zone for my most personal thoughts, a tracker of my workouts and fitness inspiration, but most importantly a mood board to manifest my visions for myself. Now if only I can find more users over the age of 18... #feelingold.

What are some random things you've been loving lately? 

SantaCon 2016

If you've never heard of SantaCon before, it's something you definitely need to Google. No, it isn't like a ComicCon convention, which is what 90% of people thought I was talking about when I'd bring it up.

Basically, a ton (like thousands!) of people get dressed up in Santa, Rudolph, Mrs. Claus, etc costumes, then take to the streets to walk around spreading Christmas cheer and also bar hopping all around the city. Lots of major cities participate in it and it usually costs a $10 donation to gain access to all participating bars. Sounds fun? It is, as long as you're not a Grinch!

On Saturday morning, four of us took a train from Stratford into NYC and arrived into the festivities. The actual event began at 10am but one friend had work until 11:45, so we didn't actually get into New York until around 2:30. That turned out to be okay because, as it was reminded to us over and over again, SantaCon is a marathon, not a sprint. 

Meaning.... pace yourself.

We ended up going to three different bars in different areas of the city. NYC bars are infinitely more fun than Connecticut bars. It made me wonder why I've never taken a trip into the city just to go out dancing before! The costumes were also amazing. It was essentially a sea of red and white fluff in every single bar. We saw a Grinch in full face makeup, and several walking Christmas trees with lights.

After dancing our lil booties off, an aggressive encounter with a taxi driver, hauling a backpack full of blankets, snacks, and alcohol for miles and miles, and some of the best wok I've ever had, we hopped back on a train to CT at about 10:30pm. Crazy to think that that's usually what time we're heading to a bar on a regular night.

Happy Monday & I hope you had a fun, festive weekend! 

1 Year of Blogging

One year ago this month, I wrote my first blog post. It's been a wild ride since then.

I've actually had this blog domain for a long time - and by that I mean a few years. And I wrote on this blog domain before but the posts were kind of a hot mess so I either privated them or deleted them. But I officially began blogging CONSISTENTLY, and with content that I actually like (and sometimes have a love/hate relationship with) this time last year.

My writing style has evolved TREMEDOUSLY in one year. It's a little crazy. I don't know what I was thinking with all that center alignment... not to mention a link break after pretty much every sentence. But basically, I figured out my personal writing flow and how I like blog posts to look. I think before, near the beginning of this blogging debut, I was really trying hard to emulate certain popular bloggers with large audiences, and a brand, and a platform. 

Uh, hello, that is not me. So it took a learning curve, but I've more or less got it figured out now. Just don't scroll back to May...

I thought it'd be fun to take a look back at my most popular and my personal favorite blog posts of the past 365 days. 

MOST POPULAR: 

How To Get Out of a Major Funk - an illness had left me bedridden, unmotivated, and uninspired. I use fun gifs to give steps on how to reinvigorate yourself. This is my most popular post! 

5 No-Brainer Ways To Have a Prettier & Happier Week - it seems like we're all trying to get our shit together, huh? These are five ways, one for each day of the week, to bring a small jolt of happiness into your life. 

The Ultimate Autumn Bucket List - don't we all just love bucket list posts??

How to Hold Onto That Summer Feeling - staying summery and battling seasonal affective disorder are two topics I tackle in this motivational to do (or NOT to do) list. 

MY PERSONAL FAVORITES: 

Why Am I Still Lonely? - finding personal autonomy within my relationship is something I struggle with.

We're All Just Faking It (Adulting, that is) - does anyone really buy toilet paper before it runs out EVERY TIME??

That Time I Cried in a Bank of America - or how to handle disappointment immaturely... 

The Two Types of College Seniors - as told by a college graduate survivor. 

One Year Since Costa Rica - I really just want you to look at pictures of me on a beach since it's literally snowing right now. 

Happy Hour Gone Wrong - what happens when drinks are buy 1 get 1 FREE and you don't really drink all that often anymore. 

And so many more. How much do you love trolling back through your blog archives and reading your own POV from the past? Am I the only one?? I love cringing at my attempted puns just as much as I love smiling teary-eyed reading myself talk about taking risks. 

If you could narrow it down, what is your favorite blog post from this past year? 

The ULTIMATE Winter Bucket List

I don't really believe in being bored. For any given season there are literally thousands of things you can do to get festive, get in the spirit, or entertain yourself! I write these little bucket lists, not just for other people, but as a reminder to myself that there are a ton of fun things I can do to appreciate whatever season I'm in. For years I have hated winter (hey, thanks SAD), but there are still so many fun things to do this season. Especially in the spirit of CHRISTMAS. So here are some ideas of what to do, eat, drink, listen to, watch, and make this winter season. :)

TO DO:

• do a polar plunge
• mush with sled dogs (there's a Groupon for this near me!)
• attend a Santa Con
• go to a tree lighting ceremony
• go ice skating outdoors
• go sledding with whatever you can slide on (trashbags work great on packed snow)
• invest in some good snow boots
• plan a getaway for March, right when you're getting super fed up with the snow/cold
• go snow shoe-ing
• have a cozy movie/game night in with friends
• catch snowflakes on your tongue

TO EAT/DRINK:

• unlimited Christmas cookies
• gingergread houses
• eggnog
• Bailey's in your hot chocolate
• Starbucks delicious selections (my fav is peppermint mocha)
• snowcream
• Celestial Seasonings Sugar Cookie Sleigh Ride tea
• candy canes
• comfort food (broccoli & cheddar soup, anyone?)

TO WATCH/LISTEN TO:

• the Rockette's Christmas Spectacular
• a Nutcracker ballet
• both versions of How the Grinch Stole Christmas
• Ariana Grande's super sassy Christmas album
• all of the Yuletide classics on Pandora radio stations
• my absolute favorite seasonal movie, A Christmas Story
• Cirque Du Soleil's holiday show
• the 25 days of Christmas on Freeform
• the first (or second, or third) snowfall
• the entire Harry Potter movie franchise
• an audiobook you've been wanting to get around to 

TO MAKE:

• paper snowflakes
• 100 Christmas cookies
• hot chocolate for traffic cops and crossing guards
• new ornaments for your tree
• a personalized Christmas playlist
• hot chocolate dipping spoons
• a DIY holiday manicure
• a snowman!
• a fire in the fireplace
• a road map of your 2017 plans

I'll definitely be doing as many of these ideas as I can fit into my Christmas season and my winter. Let me know if you have any cool ones that I haven't thought of! 

P.S. if you missed it, I also did a pretty cool ultimate bucket list for autumn. Check it! 

The Friday Five

First Friday of December, and Christmas season has officially begun. 

I am so excited. I have so many plans for December, as you know if you read my frantic and uncharacteristic December plans post. I am fully prepared to dive headfirst into the Christmas season with a holiday manicure later today, a visit to a house that looks like Christmas threw up all over it 24/7 365 days a year, decorating, making a gingerbread house, and picking out our Christmas tree. I have typed Christmas FIVE TIMES since beginning this blog post.

So that's where we're at.

Here are five things that brought me joy, intrigued me, made me think, etc this past week!

1SE (1 Second Everyday) app
This app is a movement that I had no idea about until I decided I wanted to try taking more videos in the upcoming year and making more compilation videos about cool places I go. I started searching around for video apps and lo and behold, this is the OG. It's the cutest thing I've ever seen. You take 1 second long snippets from videos you can either take from the app or import from your camera roll and the app compiles them into a montage that would put Hallmark to shame. I was able to make a decently long video from clips I'd take between 2015 up until now and.... it was touching, hilarious, and SO CUTE. So a new goal for 2017 is to take a video every day so I can have an awesome 365 second long video at the end of the year.

Starbucks Peppermint Mocha
I just can't help it, I'm basic around the holidays. And that's fine. The Starbucks Peppermint Mocha stomps all over the Dunkin Donuts one, can we all agree? I'll gladly shell out the extra 2 bucks for that creaminess and real, genuine peppermint flavor (but only twice a month because I'm still on that tight budget).

Roadtrippers website
I have this pipedream of roadtripping down to Georgia in the early spring, seeing Atlanta and Savannah, and then flying home. Then I looked at prices of rental cars and that about went down the tubes. But this website is so cool! You can put in your starting and ending points and it will literally show you EVERY INTERESTING STOPPING POINT along the way. You want weird roadside attractions? National parks? A road trip entirely based on waterfall locations? Check! I'll be planning out several more doable roadtrips around New England, but a girls gotta dream, you know?

Reminiscing on past vacations
Planning out my travels for 2017 is the most exciting thing I've been doing... but also super stressful. Like for example, Norway might actually be too expensive in August. And we may want to fly one way into a country, take trains to a couple of places, and fly home from another country. And finding the cheapest way to do that is HARD, especially so far out. I've been daydreaming about my past vacations a lot, specifically Costa Rica (pictured above). I don't know how we survived because I barely planned that trip, lmao. I decided we were going in late February and we left in April. I feel like I can't quite have that mindset when trying to see several countries in Europe...

My workouts (and the Steady app)
My workout routine has been AWESOME (still thanks to a previous Friday favorite, Whitney Simmons. I love her, please go check her out on Youtube). I've been breaking them up into categories: Back & Biceps, Chest & Triceps, Shoulders, Legs, Abs, HIIT, Full Body Circuits, and LISS. Sometimes I'll do two on one day, sometimes I'll do just one. To keep track of it all so that I'm evenly working out my body, I searched high and low for a not-so-complex habit tracker app and the only one I could find that was nice and basic was Steady. It isn't perfect but it works for what I need it to!

I hope you have a wonderful weekend. 

All The December Things

Another month, GONE.

I did a pretty good job in November of living my mantras. I was spontaneous, I continued writing in this blog for numero uno (me, obviously, ahah), I did not contribute to Thanksgiving dinner but then again I was banned from the kitchen by crazy female relatives, I did start texting my long distance friends more, I didn't do Yoga but I downloaded some Yoga apps and meditated so... success! Onto the next month (and the last... wtf)

December is the last month I have to get it together for 2016. How am I supposed to fit all of this into 31 short days??!?! I feel like a mad woman. I've drafted several calendars for the month of December already, trying to figure out if I can see a light show, bake several dozen batches of cookies, finish Christmas shopping, and run a 5k... all in one day.

Help. Send help. 

The end of a year has never felt so frantic and short for me. Yes, I want to squeeze it ALL IN. Can I? I dunno. I have four weekends to try and do what feels like seven million different things.

So because this month is so wild and crazy I've literally settled on breaking it down into weeks 1 through 4. I wish this was a happy happy crunchy granola goals post like I've been doing, but we JUST DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT THIS MONTH. '

Week 1 (12/1-12/4)

• get my festive manicure on Friday afternoon 
• visit The Christmas House Friday night (a house that's been featured on Christmas Wars and shows like that) 
• decorate EVERYTHING
• finish buying Christmas presents (cuz it's pay day tomorrow, heyyy!) 
• go to my dance studio's holiday performance Saturday evening
• go to L's friends' Friendsgiving Saturday evening (if time permits)
• get a Christmas tree Sunday afternoon 
• work on grad school applications

Week 2 (12/5-12/11)

• use my free facial gift certificate before it expires on the 11th
• go to a festival of lights on Friday evening
• have a wine night with coworker friends on Friday evening (not sure if I can do both ^^, lolz)
• go to Santa Con in Boston on Saturday 
• have my friend give me a tour of her campus in Cambridge on Sunday
• work on grad school applications

Week 3 (12/12-12/18)

• bake Christmas cookies... at some point
• see the Cirque Du Soleil Holiday Show with my dance studio Saturday night
• go to NYC for a day trip and walk around in awe and wonder on Sunday
• work on grad school applications 

Week 4 (12/19-12/31)

• celebrate my birthday in true 24 year old fashion... with tequila shots and cheese quesadillas on Monday night into Tuesday
• get a massage on Tuesday, my actual day of birth
• wrap up the Christmas presents! 
• have a wonderful Christmas with my fam, then with L's fam in Massachusetts
• do SOMETHING AWESOME for NYE (I'm begging you, any ideas? I still don't know!) 
• APPLY TO GRAD SCHOOL. 

I apologize that this was likely the most hectic and stressful goals post you've ever read.
I'm laughing maniacly just looking at it :')

I feel frantic and like I need to pour some Bailey's into my coffee asap, so excuse me while I go try and make a thousand paper snowflakes while online shopping while listening to Yuletide carols while watching Elf while scheduling my facial.

xoxo

I'm Not Defined By...

I think people beat themselves up too much.
It's a comparison trap that we live in, with social media making everyone's lives seem so much better than they actually are. And it makes everyone... EVERYONE feel inadequate. I think. Even the people whose Instagram lives look so great. They're probably thinking to themselves, "wow, my whole feed is a curated lie.. but THIS PERSON, this person's IG life looks great so they definitely have it together. wow, gotta take a few more staged pictures now".

I think this is why I like Snapchat so much more than Instagram. I think I just needed to write this post as a reminder to myself that the worst things about myself don't define me in any way. They're things I live with, cope with, and deal with... but they do not make up the awesome, friendly, outgoing, introspective, unique person that is Danielle.

I'm not defined by... my debt. I go through spurts of time when my debt feels like the heaviest boulder that I'm trying to squeeze out from under. I have a ton of student loan debt, credit card debt, and car loan debt (which will thankfully go away when I sell my car back cuz I won't need that in Boston!). And I'm welcoming even more debt into my life in my pursuit of my Master's degree! But, deep breath Danielle. Debt does not define you. It's something you live with, not something you're living for. Life needs to go on and there's a way to be responsible about paying off your debt without letting it control your life. Life is short.

I'm not defined by... my education level. Many many of my friends have gone back to grad school before me. My younger friends are finishing up grad school right now, if they went right after undergrad. What have I been doing? Sometimes I look back at the past three years and wonder what I have to show for myself. But I have to remind myself that everyone's journey happens that way for a reason. I needed this time to grow and truly FIGURE OUT why I even wanted to go back to school, and what for. If I had gone back any sooner, I'd be in the wrong state of mind, in the wrong grad program. I gotta believe that.

I'm not defined by... the number of stamps in my passport. Friends who studied abroad, whose parents brought them on countless trips, who can afford to vacation in the Keys on a random week in November - hey, I'm jealous of you. And sometimes it feels like a competition when it comes to people my age and how much we've traveled. We all want the bragging rights that we've experienced so much, tasted other cultures, and really have *seen the world*. But it isn't a contest. Travel is deeply personal and individual. I'll get to the places I want to go, but until then, where I've been doesn't define my value.

I'm not defined by... my failed relationships. Maybe the hardest one for me to accept, because so much of who I am now unfortunately stems from who I became in my previous relationship, and who I turned into afterwards. The most depressed and sad I've ever been in my entire life... and then a few months later, a wild party animal just trying to forget her sadness. But everything I did up until that point was to distract myself from missing this person so much. Life has to go on and it has to go on because I want to create my life however I choose, without anyone else's influence.

One Year From Today.

The year is wrapping up in a little under one month, so of course I'm getting nostalgic. I'll probably write several of these types of blog posts before 2016 rolls out but I'll be honest... 2016 was not my best year. Maybe because 2015 was such an important year for me, an UNBELIEVABLE year for self growth and exploration, that 2016 felt so stagnant. And also like I regressed a little bit in some areas. But I am so so so much stronger and sure of myself this year than I was this time last year. November 2015 was the shittiest month I've had in so long. I was just in a car accident, L's grandma died and he was extremely depressed, I had no reliable vehicle, I couldn't work out because I'd fractured my sternum... it was a mess. I don't want to jinx it but this year is ending so much better. So much better that I can look toward a solid future in 2017 and hope that...

One year from today I'll be in a grad program. 
I decided officially that I want to go back to school for Dance/Movement Therapy. The programs that I'm applying to would also allow me to earn credentialing for Mental Health Counseling. They're in Cambridge and New Hampshire but I'm leaning heavilyyy toward the Cambridge one.

One year from today I'll be OUT of CT.
Connecticut is the place I grew up, where almost all of my family and friends are. But Cambridge isn't that far away and it's high time for me to spread my wings and fly fly fly away. I spent four years in Rhode Island and they were the most important years of my life for gaining independence and freedom. But I was living in student dorms and apartments and not really fending for myself. In big, bad Boston, I'll be the small fish in the big sea and it's scary but it's something that I need.

One year from today I'll have some more travel under my belt. 
2016 didn't bring me to many new places and I think that's the thing I'm most upset about. I didn't leave the Northeast once. This was coming off of a year when I'd traveled outside the country for the first time, to the deep South for the first time, and spent a week sunbathing in the Carolinas with my extended family. In 2017, I need that to change desperately. In March I'm planning to visit my aunt in Atlanta again, but road trip down so I can see some East Coast sights and also visit Savannah, GA. And in August, Shawn and I are trying our hand at international travel again with a trip to... Norway. Why Norway you ask? I'm not sure, I brought it up once and we developed a strong fixiation and now I'm spending my free time researching the shit out of how to travel Norway on a TIGHT budget. Any tips?

One year from today I'll be out of credit card debt. 
Credit cards are a necessary evil, but the absolute devil. I can't wait to get all my balances down to zero, and then shred those stupid little pieces of plastic.

Where do you hope you'll be one year from today? Do you have any travel plans already in the works for 2017? Gotta plan ahead! 

Black Friday Frenzy.

Black Friday (and all urgent limited-time-only sales) really stress me the fuck out. As I'm sure all marketing executives wholeheartedly intend to do to us simple-minded, easily persuaded consumers.

Do I NEED a new TV? How about a designer hand bag that is 65% off? Who cares that it's still over $200, it'll never be on a sale like this again. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity!

See why this is so stressful...

I'm 100% alone at the front desk, with no one to hold my hand/tell me not to (or to) pull the trigger on my purchases. Which just resulted in me placing a pretty large order for Pura Vida bracelets (something I never realized I wanted/need until today when I was made aware that the whole website is 50% off with free shipping. And those full price bracelets ain't cheap). It benefits so many charities and I've always wanted to be a free spirited Pura Vida girl so... justification! Plus, I got one for my mom (save the beagles), Lucas (anxiety awareness), and friend Shawn (baby sea turtles foundation). I just can't resist a charitable sale...

And I also keep refreshing Nordstrom's website and giving it some serious side eye, adding items to my cart and taking them out.

Can my manager get here already so I can be forced to stop using the gym computers?

I hope everyone had a really wonderful Thanksgiving. 

Mine was spent trying really hard to stuff my face, but failing because my stomach rudely decided to shrink to the size of a teaspoon. I spent half of it with at my aunt's house with my family on my mom's side, then drove on over to L's house where his HUGE family crowded the house and overwhelmed everyone. 

My family is teeny tiny, so it is really nice to get that close but large family atmosphere that I've always been jealous of. 

In closing, here are some pretty beautiful things I'm thankful for today and yesterday: 

- cheese and crackers

- my little family

- my relationship with L, and how far we've come in a year

- cookie dough truffles

- a 4 month old baby in a turkey day outfit

- white wine

- getting valuable advice about moving to Boston

- LEGGINGS. 

Will you be splurging on anything for Black Friday? I'll be over here trying to hide my wallet from myself. Good thing I haven't memorized my card number....

Notes on Thankfulness.

Thanksgiving Eve is upon us and I'm sitting downstairs at L's house with the trusty Himalayan salt lamp on, Marshmallow Fireside candle burning, and about a gazillion items of food cooking or being prepared upstairs. Kathy (L's mom) is a demon in the kitchen. She's been retired for I think seven years and she takes her cooking veryyyyyyy seriously.

Thanksgiving Eve is allegedly "the biggest drinking night of the year". I honestly had never heard this until this afternoon. Unfortunately, I have to open the gym tomorrow morning at 4:45am, so it certainly won't be my biggest drinking night of the year! I'm going to bypass that tradition, relax, take a luxurious shower, blow out my hair, paint my nails, and watch several episodes of Shameless.

I meant to write this post earlier this week, but I procrastinate everything so it's 5pm on Thanksgiving Eve and it's time for a little reflection. I'm linking back to Samantha Rose Says because I love her blog and I got this idea from her. :) Here are some of the many things I'm thankful for this year, this week, and this moment...

This year:

• Finally finding some clarity about what I'm going back to school for
• Many long weekend trips to Rhode Island, Cape Cod, and NYC
• Getting back into the groove of teaching dance classes 
• My parents remaining in good health
• My poor, fat, old dog still loving going for walks with me

This week: 

• Speaking with a super helpful admissions counselor over the phone! 
• Deciding that a 3 year part-time grad school track is the BEST option for me financially and psychologically
• My two super intense workouts of this week and post-workout endorphins
• The new *premium* cool mint tea from Dunkin Donuts
• A phenomenal gym member bringing my coworkers and I a whole entire pie for Thanksgiving

This moment: 

• Gray on gray sweatsuits
• L setting up the coffee machine for me for tomorrow
• Rearranged furniture that brings so much more ZEN to our space
• My Himalayan salt lamp (I don't think I'll ever get enough of this)
• My super sore, amazingly tight biceps

Now I feel like I should do this way more often.
I worked out hard the past two days in preparation to stuff my freakin' face tomorrow. Happy Thanksgiving Eve! 

Glitter, stickers, sparkle, magic.

Oh, helloooooooo there and happy Monday! 

If you weren't in blogland last night and want to read about how I actualized a seven year dream of getting my nose pierced, go on and check it here.

This weekend wasn't super exciting, but it was pretty great. After my piercing experience on Friday night, L and I went to one of our fav spots, Tisane's, a super chill bar and restaurant that brings cozy and eccentric together perfectly. We each got a glass of sauvignon blanc, cheers-ed to me being a little bit spontaneous for once, and split an appetizer of BBQ chicken spring rolls. Yummm. We settled in Friday night to watch some TV, either a little bit of Harry Potter weekend(!!) or Vanderpump Rules since we legitimately cannot stop watching this stupid show. Send help.

Saturday afternoon was spent with my adorable mama, who strongly disapproves of the new hole in my face, so I hid it from her so she did not have to see the atrocity. We took our beagle doggy for a walk in the dog park since it was predicted to be "the last really nice day of 2016". Dramatic, but damn it was a beautiful day. Not a cloud in the sky, high of probably around 65. What November dreams are made of.

When we got home we started in on some CHRISTMAS CARDS!!! My mom's workplace has a goal of making 200 hand-made holiday cards for veterans this year. I have a ton of holiday stickers and about 700 rolls of washi tape, so I volunteered all my supplies and my time and I banged out some TRULY beautiful cards if I do say so myself. I think this one is my favorite.

I cannot handle the cuteness! This of course inspired me to hand make cards for other people in my own life, so I made three and it was honestly the most relaxed and productive I've been for an extended period of time in a LONG TIME. So here's a pro-tip: if you are stressed out, craft!

That afternoon I met up with a long time friend, Courtney, to see Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them. We saw it in IMAX and it was... very loud. But I liked it! It was quite cool to be back in the magical world, even if it didn't feature any of my fav old characters. But it didn't completely wow me or suck me in. Maybe my expectations were slightly too high, but I did think that a lot of the creatures and some of the story line were a little far fetched, or that maybe too much plot was attempted to be fit into just the 2 hours and 15 minutes of the film. I'm not sure. Have you seen it? Let me know your thoughts!

On Sunday I worked with my little dancer cousin on her solo for this year and we finished it! Thank goodness too, because she's performing it on December 3rd at our studio's Christmas show and...  no one told me. I'm always so out of the loop! Jessie is a very determined and busy 13 year old girl, sometimes I don't know how she manages it all.. band, soccer, field hockey, competitive dance, all plus school, friends, and homework?! Kids, man, how do you bottle that energy.

I hope your weekend was fantastic, relaxing, inspiring, creative, and rejuvenating! 

I should've gotten a small tattoo instead

I can't remember the last time I wrote a blog post NOT at work. Don't get it twisted, I am 100% not supposed to be using the work computers for my selfish blogging usage... butttttttttttt, I do! Can you really blame me? I'm alone at that front desk from 6am to 8:45am most days. I'd lose my damn mind if I wasn't blogging and reading Buzzfeed gift guides.

So let me set the scene since usually the scene is a freezing cold gym desk lit with harsh gym lighting with a thermos of yucky coffee (since my creamer is sugar-free, what was I thinking) at 6:15am.

It's 4pm on a Sunday and I'm snuggled on the couch and the NY Giants football game is on. And they're WINNING. I just blew out our Marshmallow Fireside BABW candle so it smells decadent and my new Himalayan salt lamp is *lit*, emitting all them positive ion vibes and cleansing the air and all the other crazy magical things Himalayan salt lamps are 'sposed to do. I have Pinterest open in the tab next door, my feet are up, my socks don't match, and L is napping as per usual.

It's cozy and nice, and I'm actually not going stir crazy and I think it's because I broke out the 'ol laptop and I'm clackity clacking away. I don't know why I never use my laptop, but it's infinitely more soothing to scroll through Pinterest on this big screen than on my tiny, bright phone.

On Friday night L needed to go to a piercing place to have his ears checked out. He used to have gauges back from when he was a lil bad ass rebel in his high school era, but he hasn't been wearing them super often, so they shrunk and are two different sizes. He's pretty upset about that. But while we were there, I was feeling EXTRA WILD & REBELLIOUS and decided, y'know what, I'm gonna do something I've been talking and thinking and debating about for seven years now. I'm not lying, I've been thinking about getting my nose pierced for seven years.

But I'm a little baby, who is afraid of needles and faints when she gets blood drawn. So I have never stepped foot in a piercing place, that is, until L had to go to one anyways, and there I was, standing at the counter, and asking the super nice, super pierced girl about septum piercings.

Yeah, I have also always wanted to get a cute little nose stud or a teeny tiny gold hoop but, my friends, I work at a gym that prohibits alllllllllllll facial piercings (yet doesn't mind employees with fully tattooed bodies, riddle me that), so I needed something I could hide, that would make me feel like a little bad ass and so, here we are. The piercing itself hurt absolutely NOT AT ALL - I was truly so shocked at how little it hurt. Right now, it is healing up flipped inside my nose, just a tiny bit tender and sore if my nose grazes anything. But, I love it. I know plenty of people will hate it, butttt I don't care.

This isn't me, but it pretty much looks like this. 

My mom said the absolute funniest thing when I showed her (p.s. she hates it).

She goes: "I wish you got a small tattoo instead!" 

I just think that's the silliest thing, because I'm the most indecisive person and, HELLOOOO, a tattoo would be on me for my whole entire life! If I don't like this piercing, I can just shove it in my nose, or take it out eventually. And no scar will ever show. Hm. C'mon mother. 

I think this piercing is cool, a little bit unexpected of me, and honestly enhances my face. Here's a great article I found about this piercing in particular: I wore a fake septum piercing for a week and it was f*cking empowering. 

That is all, for now. I have plenty more to write about my weekend, but that's going up tomorrow morning! 

A Friday Ramble

Here's a pretty old picture of me - probably circa 2013? ...so I guess not that old... but wow what a shitty arabesque...

to kick this Friday ramble off with a bang, because I have absolutely no direction for this post. 

Happy Friday! 

So because I post on every Friday, I have to throw something up here and hope it STICKS, like those little jelly hands that you threw to the window of the car on long road trips when you were 7.

I am sick. I got the inevitable November cold. 

It wasn't without some effort on my part to stop it in its' tracks though. 

My arsenal included zinc tablets, vitamin C supplements, daily multivitamins, immunity tea, Mucinex, and lots of water. 

But alas, we have succumb.

So my head is too tired and congested to make sense of pretty much anything. Here's a rambly post about something that happened this week? Maybe just some stuff and nonsense and I honesty don't blame you if you stop reading this. Hell, I would. 

On Wednesday morning my gym played Christmas music every other song. I have no idea why because the music is all randomly generated but I'm not sure I was mad about it and no gym members complained so..... it's Christmas ??

I really want a cute little manatee loose tea diffuser because I have immunity loose tea that I have to put in this ugly metal sieve. You know that diffuser I'm talking about. 

I'm really wanting to support my fav bloggers in their shops around the holidays and for people's birthdays, I just keep forgetting to shop there. Like Taylor's tshirts and Bonnie's jewelry. 

Every day I woke up this week it felt like a Thursday? Every. Single. Day. Then on Thursday I woke up and it felt like a Friday. How messed up is that? 

Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them comes out this weekend and you best believe that I will be front and center, clutching my copy of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, trembling with excitement at being sucked back into the wizarding world. BEST BELIEVE.  

Thanksgiving is next week and Black Friday is exactly one week from today. 

I have to work both days, merp. But I get out an hour early on Thursday (at noon), and time and a half, so that's cool. 

Now I just have to try my absolutely best to resist online Black Friday sales while I'm standing at the front desk on Friday.... gotta stay strong. 

Have a magical weekend. 

A New Chapter

I graduated college in May 2014 and I've been living at my parent's house back in my hometown ever since.

Well, more like since midway through this year since I've been spending the better part of my living in L's apartment that just so happens to be in the basement of his parent's house.

Two faces I'll miss like crazy when I'm gone.

My grad school hopes and dreams are kind of pulling us into this new living chapter and it's hard for me to wrap my head around.

The grad school that I'm *mostly* looking at is in Cambridge, MA. I know, so fancy.

I know three people currently going here, my professors from undergrad have colleagues here, and I've met for coffee with a girl who graduated from this program. I'm still going to apply to the New Hampshire program... but honestly I feel like all fingers are pointing to Cambridge.

Better still, I have like TONS of friends who live in the Boston area. Soooooo many friends from college days! Man, I miss them.

I guess the real question is, can I afford this? 

Logistically, I guess I should be able to go to grad school full/part-time and work full/part-time and also be saving up money like a mofucker right now to help me out with rent.

But the reality is that I haven't really factored in certain expenses to living in the Boston area... like having to eat food... and other important things like that.

Also, I have an embarrassingly large credit card balance that I'm trying to pay off before any real apartment talks take place. AND I'M ALSO TRYING TO TRAVEL THIS YEAR.

Am I totally out of my mind? I guess, maybe? I don't know, I've never had to pay rent before. I lived in my college dorms and apartments in a blissfully ignorant state, thinking RENT FREE! when really what was happening was those student loans were just pilin' up, man. Isn't that so rude how it happens?

And madre and padre aren't helping me out this time... like at all. I don't really want them too - they really sacrificed a lot to help me out with a TON of my undergrad tuition. But I'm scared. Terrified of incurring all of that student loan debt, and of taking a huge leap into the real world and getting kicked right back out.

If you've ever had to handle rent, living in a city, and/or grad school please enlighten me... how did you survive? 

The Friday Five

My mid-week mental health day made this week pretty much fly by. I may have just switched up my schedule up the teensiest bit, but feel like I had a completely new structure to my week!

This week was a tough, weird, emotional week for a lottttt of people. Half the country, probably. So I want to bring a smidge of joy to my blog with 5 things that made me smile (and possibly a lil teary eyed) this week, and 5 things I have left to accomplish before 2016 is over. Because I'm the ultimate overachiever in most of what I do.



5 THINGS THAT MADE ME SMILE: 

1. The unimaginable joy of watching a little baby get bigger and bigger each day, and the equally soft mushy feeling of when that baby falls asleep in your arms/on your lap. CANNOT HANDLE. L's twin sister has their mom babysit pretty often since she's retired, and since we are always over their house... we get lots of baby face time. And I am not complaining because look at that face.

2. The reward of being a dance teacher. I said it before and I'll say it again - dance teachers make a gigantic difference in shaping the kids they work with. One of my pre-teen dance students has had unreal attitude problems all year - until last night.

She worked hard, she was mostly quiet, I could tell she was focused. I pulled her aside after class and told her how proud I was of her and how she has the power in her personality to completely change the whole attitude of the class; when she works hard, we all work hard. I looked at her and said, "did you feel the difference tonight? you created that positive energy." She tries to portray herself as this tough girl, but she got glossy eyed, and I did too.

I gave her a hug then found out later that she had excelled in all of her classes that night, despite a rocky home life and the odds stacked against her. Our belief in her, I hope, makes such a huge difference.

3. Almost every single person on our staff at work signed up in the break room to participate in Secret Santa 2016! The price point is only $10, but it's still so fun to give and get a lil surprise around the holidays!

4. I found a heavy duty thermos that keeps liquids hot up to 12 hours! The only problem is that now I think my coffee is still piping hot three hours later and I'm scared to sip it.

5. Despite despite despite the results of the election, I have seen a lot of people rising up to be even better versions of themselves. My female friends swearing that this is going to make them more politically active and aware, my young dance students taking interest in social issues, and countless bloggers and influencers giving resources and where to donate your time and money if and when things start to go south. In particular, this blog post of 9 actionable things you can do.


5 THINGS LEFT TO ACCOMPLISH IN 2016:

1. Tour college campuses. Cambridge and Keene, I'm coming for you.

2. Seriously seriously seriously stick to my budget. Which basically just means spend money on as few things as humanly possible.

3. Finalize my road map of 2017. Beautiful, grande, somewhat unrealistic blog post in the drafts for next month.

4. Submit grad school applications on or before NYE. Because if that doesn't say, hell yeah to 2017, I don't really know what does.

5. Ring in my birthday in a better way than an awkward Margarita's dinner, ring in the New Year in a better way than passed out, alone, on an acquaintances basement couch. Yes, both of those happened last year.