Things I Believe In This Week

Reaching out to people. Plans this week involved hanging out with two of my college friends who I haven't seen in years! Alicia took me hiking, where I took the photo above. We connected over spirituality and finding our dancing voices again. And tonight I'm going to Disney trivia! A quick text = fun plans with old friends. I believe in sending that text.

Not finishing the book. In my library binge, I picked up a book called "What's Gotten Into Us: Staying Healthy in a Toxic World", all about how there are toxic chemicals in basically everything in your life, every second of every day. It's terrifying and I've been forcing myself to read it even though it's fascinating (in the car crash, can't look away kind of way) there are other books I want to read MUCH more, and so I believe in not forcing myself to finish it.

Kombucha. The Raspberry Lemon by Kevita is a fav. Gimme all those probiotics.

Intuitive movement. Sometimes yoga doesn't feel right to me because it doesn't encompass all I want to do. This afternoon I put on music (Zoe Keating, the best) and just moved, stretched, and breathed exactly how my body was telling me to. Listen to your body, it's talking to you. I believe that this week.

Kitten growth spurts. Cosmo now appears to be a fully grown feline and I'm a basket case. My baby kitten is growing TOO FAST.

The moons' power. Whenever I read about where the moon is and what its' tidal shifts are doing to us mere mortals, I'm always shocked at how accurate it all seems. I don't really know what I'm talking about right now, but I'm getting much more into astrology and it's so interesting.

What do you believe in this week? 

When We Choose Joy.

What is it that most in this world brings you to life? You know the feeling. Time passes so quickly that you almost forget to take picture to Instagram it. And why do we make so many excuses to not schedule more of these things into our days?

 This is something I’ve been thinking a lot about.

 I love to dance, hike, and see new places. I love curling up with a book and writing in my journal.

 Then why haven’t I taken a dance class in over a year? How come this weekend was the first time I’ve been hiking in months? I don’t know where my next trip or vacation will be to.

 I just got a library card, so I’m doing way better at reading. But for a long (embarrassingly long) time, I was barely reading at all. I only write in my journal when something dramatic and upsetting happens.

 What is happening here?

 Why am I not taking the time or making the effort to delight my senses, to bring myself daily, weekly, yearly joys?

 It isn’t like I lead a joyless life. But it seems like sometimes less important, meaningless, menial things (ahem, social media) take center stage and I blackout on these magical, joy-filled ingredients in favor of the “fast food” version of self-entertainment. 

 How about I stop doing that???

 What happens when we choose joy? We open ourselves up to the wonders of our own personal enjoyment. What brings you joy may be vastly different than what brings me joy. That’s part of the magic. Everyone has slightly different ingredients here. We all make a different recipe. But when everyone makes a different recipe, we have a killer, joy-filled potluck and everyone is havin’ a good old time.

I’ll bring the sangria. You bring the pasta salad. When everyone is reveling in their joy, everyone wins. 

Setting My Soul On Fire.

The phrase "set your soul on fire" comes from one of my favorite big time bloggers, The Balanced Blonde. It's all about being in the flow and doing things that just make you feel damn alive. When you're in the flow, it's like time passes by and you don't even realize it because of how enveloped you are in what you're doing.

The past couple of days, I've been lucky enough to stumble upon two activities that always used to bring me into a state of happy, blissed out flow. One of them I was 100% aware of, and have been telling myself I need to do more of for the past couple of years now; DANCE. 

The second one I happened upon because I woke up this morning with an unlikely song stuck in my head; SINGING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS. 

I'll start with dance, because it's the one that was always obvious to me.

I've been teaching dance almost non-stop since graduating from college in 2014. It's been amazing for keeping dance a part of my life. It's something I'll always be grateful to have the opportunity to have done.

But as anyone who teaches knows, teaching is vastly different from doing. 

They say (who are they? I don't know) that those who can't do, teach. I'm not sure if I agree with this because I do genuinely love teaching. But in all honesty, I was teaching because I physically couldn't do. There were no decent adult dance classes or companies where I was living in suburban Connecticut, and despite going into New Haven to take a class a few times in those three years, it still was nowhere near the same intensity that I'd experienced when I was one thousand percent in the flow while majoring in dance in college.

Since moving to the Cambridge/Boston area, I've told myself that I'm going to use this proximity to force myself to get back into dancing for myself. Re-developing this practice has become extremely important to me, to the process of re-discovering my creative self.

On Sunday I pushed myself to go to a movement slam, like an improv session except for movement. People of all walks of life were there. Dancers, non-dancers, friendly, beautiful, artistic, open, inviting people.

Oh my goodness.

I was welcomed with open arms. I moved, jumped, shook, shimmied, rolled, and sweated all over these magnificent strangers, sharing our stories and our bodies and our feelings with no words. There is magic in this practice, if you're not a dancer, you can still understand.

It's that feeling of when you look at someone, really look at them, and try to know them. Smiling with your eyes and with your body. Two hours went by in the blink of eye.

There is a 100% chance I will be back to the next one.

This morning I woke up with "La Vie Boheme" from Rent stuck in my head. It was like it had just been dropped there from outer space, as I had absolutely no reason to be thinking about this iconic musical either last night or this morning.

But there it was.

When I was in middle school, the Rent movie came out and it was our world. I was in a close knit group of show choir kids; we were dramatic, artistic, weirdos. We learned all of the Rent songs, knew our harmonies, and would burst into song anywhere we went.

It's 2017, and I can't remember the last time I listened to showtunes, or belted for that matter.

I'm not a great singer. But I love to sing.

So at 6:30am I found myself belting and sobbing along to the entire Rent soundtrack on my forty minute commute to work. Then again, on my forty minute commute home. Not minding the traffic for once, not noticing the time going by. Feeling the music and the lyrics and letting the long ago memorized words pour forth from my body.

Waves of nostalgia flowing over me, remembering when we used to be so carefree, a bunch of twelve year olds obsessed with a movie about fighting the power, love, loss, and AIDS of all things.

In the flow. Setting my soul on fire.

If there's anything in this life that ignites you in a way you can't quite explain, especially if it's something that brings you back to simpler times (like holding hands in a circle with your eccentric friends, ebbing and flowing as you sing the round in "Will I") then it's worth remembering and it's worth making time for in your busy days.

It's worth it to feel your soul on fire.

Welcoming Baby Cosmo!

My grandma's cats hated me. She raised them from babies, bottle feeding them, and nursing them back to health after being dumped on her doorstep when I was a kid. I used to pick them up and try to cuddle them, always resulting in them mewling for their lives, flailing their claws, and trying to gauge my eyes out. From then on, I was a dog person and I took it very seriously.

So tell me how, living in this new apartment (which is a no pet zone, hah, oops) and obviously we cannot own a dog because not only do we live in the city but having a dog is legitimately like having a small child... I was manipulated, finagled, duped... into getting a kitten. 

And I totally just let it happen.

Lucas and I went home this past weekend to relax with friends and family (and I went to The Big E, another post coming up soon!) and on our way home he slyly mentioned that he wanted to go to The Humane Society. Well, we'd been talking about getting a kitten for a little while since our apartment is just so lonely without a pet. Houses without animals are so weird. I think I feel that way because my family truly hasn't gone longer than three months without a dog residing there as king or queen of the house. Obviously I knew there was a very small chance that we'd be leaving the humane society empty-handed. 

We walked in and there were THREE - not one, not two, but THREE - tiny two-month old orange kittens. I was sobbing. Clutching Lucas's arm and screaming that we needed to take home all three. Making a scene, I had to be escorted out of the building, completely losing my head and trying to climb into the cage with the animals. 

Obviously I'm exaggerating.

We filled out an application and took out a little sucker named Carter. The kittens all looked the exact same so there was no way of telling them apart. I didn't really know what to expect because my parents passionately hate cats and I have never really interacted with one besides being clawed half to death by my grandmas' cats at the age of nine. 

Carter was set down in the room and immediately became possessed by a wild spirit. He clawed up our legs, tried to jump out the window, would not let us hold him, was running so fast around the room that all of us, the employee included, could not catch him. Wanting more cuddles (and absolutely terrified by Carter), we decided to meet another one of the kittens. 

They brought in Fluff Muffin. And it was love at first sight. 

The little fluffer dude cuddled up in our laps, seemed to love being held and cuddled, and was purring the entire time. He was playful in a manageable way (although since coming home he's attacked me in my sleep several times LOL, but I think I just need to get him some more interesting toys). We brought him home that day and for almost the entire ride back to Boston he sat in my lap, sleepy and adorable, curled up in a little kitty ball of fur.

Two days ago we still hadn't come up with a name for him (because I was not going to continue calling him Fluff Muffin, and until then he had just been Baby Cat). Lucas and I were sitting on an outdoor patio and it was the full moon. I was going on about how I could feel connected to the cosmos, and Lucas's eyes lit up as he said, "We should name him Cosmo!" And now my little galactic kitty babe has a name. 

I won't lie, he's a freaking handful. A little more than I was expecting from a cat. But I love how much attention he needs because he's my little babe. He makes me love staying in at home, and he makes me excited to come home from work every day. Seeing his little face light up is the warmest feeling after a long day. :) 

I Just Want To Feel Safe.

I was in 4th grade when 9/11 happened and even though it rocked the whole world, I was too young at the time for it to have an immediate impact on how I lived my daily life.

I was even too young for Columbine and Virginia Tech to have a real impact on me. My parents definitely did a fantastic job shielding me from the horrors on the news that day (and the weeks that followed).

Then the shooting in the Aurora movie theater happened. And I still go to movie theaters, but does it cross my mind that violence might occur there? Yes.

Then Newtown happened. In my own state. I cried as my dad told me more about it, driving me home from college for my winter break. It didn't seem real at all. But does it occur to me now that children might not be safe in schools without security guards and metal detectors at the entrances? Yes.

Then Pulse nightclub. The club isn't safe anymore. Somewhere to let loose and be carefree. You never know, you never know. Am I nervous to go to gay clubs now? Yes. Will I still? Yes.

A fireworks show in France. A shopping center. A music festival.

I'm writing because I don't know what else to do. I scrolled through Twitter and consumed hours of media today. It's heartwrenching. It's soul crushing. There's nothing to understand, or to make sense of because it's senseless. 

I just want to feel safe. My house is safe. My hometown neighborhood feels safe. That's where I still am right now. Boston doesn't feel quite as safe. Buying spontaneous plane tickets to an exciting destination doesn't feel safe. But how would my life be if I stayed in this kitchen for the rest of my life? Playing it safe. Not seeing the horrors of the world, but also missing all of the beauty, amazing people, breathtaking places.

There is darkness, there is horror, there is fear.
There is lightness, there is hope, there is living.

I want to be safe, but I want to live.

My thoughts are so with anyone effected by this tragedy. It's going to get harder as we start learning about the victims. The only way I can think to honor them is by continuing to spread their stories, and by living.

Goodbye September, Hello October.

Goodbye September. 

Goodbye to getting lost coming to and from work every day. I have almost 100% confidence in my ability to finally get to work and home again without using my Maps app. It only took a month!

Goodbye strange Indian summer. I won't complain about your unexpected 90 degree afternoons because I'll always be a summer lover at heart.

Goodbye uncomfortable adjustment period. You will not be missed, but I know you were important.

Goodbye to a month of meeting so many new people. Some people who may turn out to be some of my closest friends. Some people who are wonderful connections to have in the dance world. Some people who might let me babysit their kids! #Hustle.

Goodbye to being "the new girl" at work. And it already feels like I've been there for six years. In a good way. Hearing your superiors tell you how much you're impressing them with your ability to make it seem like you've always been there... wow, that'll never get old.


Hello October.

Hello all of the Fall activities. Pumpkin floats on city lakes, pumpkin picking, setting out the Halloween decorations, haunted houses in abandoned apartments, so much more.

Hello to fresh air with that crisp nostalgic scent. The sound and the smell of crinkled leaves rustling on the pavement, grey mornings, coffee in an old mug. The taste of nostalgia that I can't quite describe.

Hello to the the Fall TV and Halloween movies. How to Get Away with Murder, Stranger Things 2, Hocus Pocus, Harry Potter marathons, all the things I love the most.

Hello to productivity and getting sh*t done. After a strange month of adjusting, it feels like I'm really ready to cross things off my to-do lists that have been sitting there for way too long. My newfound addiction to my bullet journal is helping more than I realized it would.

Hello to a month of creativity. In the month of October I'm going to try to hold myself accountable to creating something every day. A poem, a blog post, a dance phrase, a doodle - anything. So many things. To bridge the huge gap between what I consume (infinite) to what I produce (limited). To spark my inspiration. To make my world a better place to live in. I'll keep this blog updated with that journey. #CreateEveryday.

Here's to a beautiful new month of possibility, autumnal tones, and glowing Jack O Lanterns. 

The Magic of Being Home.

Being home, in comfortable, rustic, sleepy suburbia, with its vegetable stands, pumpkin displays, open roads flanked with the red, yellow, brown towering oak trees of early autumn - is magical in the Fall.

Knowing where I'm going without a GPS is also quite magical. This cloudy, grey morning I ran an important errand. I took myself to Bank of America to finally get a temp card, encountering the first Connecticut roundabout I've ever seen along the way. It wasn't fully constructed yet so I had to take a quick detour to get to the bank, but I knew where I was going and that was very comforting. Familiarity is an old friend.

I watched HTGAWM OnDemand this afternoon, curled up on the couch in my flannel with a hot cup of caramel macchiato warming my hands in my grandmas' old mug . The season premiere didn't quite have me jumping on the edge of my seat like I wanted it to, but I'm still going to watch this season (as it's the only scripted Fall TV show that I regularly watch besides Stranger Things and I have to wait until 10/27 for that to drop!)

Later, my childhood friend, Courtney, picked me up for some retail therapy in the local mall area. I took advantage of some gift cards that had been warming my wallet for awhile and picked up a Northface raincoat and some unbelievably cozy Cabin Socks from Dicks. I can't believe I've never tried those socks before. They're infused with aloe and come in a billion patterns and colors and just look like the epitome of what one would wear on their feet while warming them by a roaring fire. We popped into Bath & Body Works where we lost our minds smelling every single autumn candle we could get our hands on. Taking advantage of the 2 for $24 candle sale is something even the strongest of us can't resist *plus I had a $15 gift card* so I walked away with Cider Lane (a literal caramel apple in a candle jar) and Hot Cocoa & Cream (so authentically chocolate-y that I swear they melted down a batch of brownies and poured it in the wax).

Last but not least, we hit up Ulta, a cornucopia of my deepest loves. Self-care and skin-care go together like PB&J (both of which I'm trying to work so much harder on). Courtney was downright horrified - rightly so - when I told her I hadn't used a facewash in several months and my moisturizer consisted exclusively of coconut oil. I'm trying this Pacifica Facewash and Probiotic Cream because they're vegan, cruelty-free, and I've been wanting to try probiotics in my skincare for a little while now.

Little did I know, my rockstar mother was out grocery shopping and buying me some skin care because she also took great pity on my complete lack thereof. So I went from 0 to 100 on the skincare front, real quick. I'm a-okay with that and over the moon to try out this St. Ives face cream, St. Ives Oatmeal Scrub/Mask, and this Basis Facewash! 

Now I am back in my cozy couch spot, the sounds of college football from the TV calming me as night falls, my familys' pup was just chasing her tennis ball like crazy, and I've caught up on several blogs that give me happiness and all good feels. I'll settle in in a bit to continue reading The Handmaids Tale, a novel I've been working on since I just finished the Hulu drama last week.

City life is fun. It's exciting, fast-paced, brimming with things to see, eat, and be a part of, people to connect with, and events to attend. But my personality is one that can only handle so much noise at a time. And taking this weekend to come home and tune out was exactly what I needed.

What September Taught Me.

The ultimate month of changes - new places, new jobs, new responsibilities, new routines - is finally wrapping up.

I'm not going to lie. This has not been the easiest month. I thought that I had adjusted so well to all of this wild newness, but that was just the glossy coating that I had painted for myself on top of the real picture. The real picture is a little messy, a little lonely, and a little confused about why I'm 24 years old and still don't know how to parallel park.

Despite that, this has been a month of immense learning. And not just how to take the city bus (although I did conquer that ALL BY MYSELF a couple of weeks ago). I'm learning so much about myself, what I need to thrive, and what I was lacking before I started getting my shit together.

I need to work on being alone. When I'm alone in the apartment I either do a yoga video, read twelve chapters, and cross nine things off my to-do list or... nothing. I scroll mindlessly for four hours and then get depressed that I don't have plans. I need to work on maximizing my time alone because I unfortunately can't coerce people to chill with me 24/7.

Daily routines work for me. Falling into a solid weekday routine has been, and still is, one of the things that's leaving me feeling like a lost puppy. I had such a set schedule living in Connecticut (get out of work at 1, workout for a bit, go home and walk the dog, make/eat dinner with parents, go to dance studio to teach classes, etc) and I failed to build a routine upon coming here. I'd get out of work and then just hang out in my apartment, waiting for something to happen. Recently I've gotten a gym membership at Planet Fitness and I plan on doing that most (if not all!) days after work, which has been a help so far.

I need to actively keep up with a planner/running to-do list. I dropped the $25 at Barnes & Noble last week and got myself a brand spankin' new bullet journal. UGH. My obsession with planners is so weird. But I feel like I'll actually stick with this one and seeing the yearly, monthly, weekly, and daily spreads is a) so pleasing to the eye, wow and b) unbelievably helpful to keeping track of very important stuff like BILLS and MEETINGS. Such adult things going on here.

Go out more, even if it's inconvenient. My coworkers are friendly now that they've felt me out. They invite me out to things. Last week two of them, who are in a band, had a show on a Thursday night and I normally would've given a hard "no, thanks!" but I made myself drive 50 minutes (getting lost no less than four times!) to meet them. Because it's worth it to make friends. Because sometimes making friends means stepping outside of your comfort zone. And I had fun!

In some ways, I feel like I'm growing up all over again. Finding myself, seeking out ways to be more independent, and stepping a toe (or a whole foot) outside of my comfort zone to find happiness in this new and scary place. Like ripping a bandaid off or getting a shot, sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it's hard. But I know that if I push myself, there's a good chance it's going to be worth it.

Here's to being young and in a new city!
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Embracing the chaos of uncertainty.

i like to think that things happen for a reason, however difficult it is to believe in the moment.

there are a million shifts and they are all right on the horizon, staring me dead in the eyes and daring me to back down. daring me to question them. daring me to question the ways and directions that the universe is pulling me.

last week i had a job interview a little bit outside of the cambridge area. i wouldn't have gotten this job interview if i wasn't planning on moving to the area for grad school and if i wasn't dating someone who is best friends with the company's human resources director.

so the stars were kind of in alignment there.

and in all honestly, i didn't think i did that well in my interview! when i'm nervous i tend to ramble, a lot.

i walked into a super official looking conference room surrounded by four people all asking me questions back to back. doing my best to conjure these intriguing answers and also be very much myself. and i guess they really liked me because i got a call back the next day!

but that's not where the questioning begins.

last week i received an updating financial aid aware letter alerting me that tuition at lesley had increased AGAIN. for the second time since i was accepted into the program.

and while i was in the cambridge area i met up with a friend in the program, who basically told me that NO ONE has time to hold down a full time job unless it's working as like a hostess, bartender or babysitter (since those hours are flexible).

cue me freaking out and calling my admissions counselor.

cue sweet wyatt confirming this scary truth: that it is almost impossible to have a big girl job while you're in grad school. 

is it just me, or are the stars not aligning for grad school right now?

so now, i am stuck on the edge of a huge decision that determines whether or not i plunge myself into $100,000 worth of debt.

there is a large... hidden... repressed part of me that knows internally, deep down in my bones, that i mostly want my masters degree for bragging rights.

because everyone else is getting one.

because i can apply for the fancier job titles with one.

but what is the meaning of life? is it about job satisfaction? if all there is to life is being pleased with the cool title that you can put on your linkedin account, then i think not.

i do want to feel proud of myself, like i'm accomplishing something, like what i'm doing is making a difference in this world and in other people's lives.

i think there's a chance that i might be able to accomplish that job satisfaction without a masters degree.

with a job as a counselor at this school that serves kids and teens and young adults with mild behavioral disorders. or maybe as a yoga instructor as well, since if i'm not in grad school i'd have the free time and finances to get my 200 hour YTT.

who knows, who knows, who knows?

and maybe i am meant to take another year off.  to mull it over and think it through like a VERY rational human being, because that is a lot of debt to dive into. and because i still very much value my freedom and my ability to go, do, and see.

it is all so much to think about.

but i'm trying with all of my strength to embrace the chaos of this uncertainty because no matter WHAT i choose to do, there is big shift happening. and it's been a long time coming.

Itś been a long time coming.

Untitled from danielle on Vimeo.

i took this video a few months ago. when the spring was turning new, when the ice had just thawed, when it was the first and only time all year that i had worn shorts & a tank top outside.

it feels fragile, tentative, like i was in the process of discovering what movement felt like again.

because i was.

over the course of a few years, i had unfortunately lost touch with my creative voice - and with that pulsing drive to move move move, to dance & create.

i don't know where it went. something that had been an integral part of my life felt like it had flickered away and died out. i had become consumed with the meaningless monotony of a steady full-time job, my free time was spent either teaching dance (an activity that i loved dearly ... until i began to realize that teaching dance was not at all equal to dancing / creating for MYSELF), being with my significant other, or the worst of all, with my nose buried in my phone, scrolling through social media for literally HOURS on end.

it's insane to think about how i spent my free time in middle school, even high school. EVEN IN COLLEGE. back before i didn't have a smartphone to consume my time & suck away all of my individuality via the ever dangerous comparison trap. or just the fear of being vulnerable / different from my friends and followers.

this video is a testing 1, 2, 3. it was the first time i had truly moved outside - after literally FOUR YEARS of site specific movement study in college - in ... i don't even want to think how long.

what does it feel like? is it perfect? no. is it aesthetically pleasing? not really. is it a START, a potential for greater & more expansive movement exploration? YES.

i think that's all that matters.

Comparison is the thief of joy/My issue with social media & holidays.

christmas, new year's eve, birthdays, the fourth of july.

why did these holidays all seem so much more magical & precious when i was a kid? honestly ... why did everything seem so special when i was a kid?

life was so much slower. so much simpler.

and it also never felt like we were rushing from one thing to the next. i didn't start suffering from FOMO until i got my phone. and i didn't get a smartphone until my senior year of college. COLLEGE. so i got to enjoy those good 'ol days of oblivion for a lot longer than the average person, i think.

why did the oblivion feel so ... good?

The Starting Point.

the symbolic exact midway point through the year & a fresh start to a new month (not to mention all of the EXTREME changes that are about to shake my life to the core) have inspired me. to start over again, authentically.

i love to write. my 4th grade teacher - shoutout mrs. horton - told my dad that i was going to be a writer someday. they were both so sure of this that it really seemed like a disappointment when i went to school for dance & psychology instead of journalism or creative writing or something like that. but writing has always remained a part of my life, however inconsistent it may have become.

life is strange right now. so many things are right on the cusp of manifesting ... but there is SO MUCH that i still have to figure out. it's overwhelming, exciting, insane.

within the next two months i'll be: quitting the job that i've had for over two years now, moving to a new state, selling my car in favor of public transportation, renting an apartment for the first time, finding a new job, & starting graduate school.

LIFE BEGINS AT THE END OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE. 

there is no doubt that i'll be leaving my comfort zone far, far behind. this is only the beginning, but i have high hopes for this blog - to stay authentic, to rediscover my love of writing, to document my journey from connecticut to boston as a dance/movement therapy student at lesley university with big hopes + dreams and a new life that is just now beginning! 

A Necessary Re-Introduction

Hello hello hello.

Here we go with the necessary introduction post. Even though the only person I really expect to read this is my mom… HI MOM. & she for the most part knows everything about me. Well, not everything.

I could write a boring paragraph but lists have always made me really happy so here is a list of 12 things about me. They’re random, they’re significant, they make me into the whole & happy & growing human being that I am today.

01) I have a wild & uncontrolled love of stationary supplies. Notebooks, pens of all kinds, highlighters, the more the merrier. I can rarely leave a Target without browsing the planners for a good 20 minutes.

02) My hair is naturally extremely curly & I just recently learned how to style it (by that I mean that it’s a day to day struggle and I still do not really know how to style it).

03) I am obsessed with reality tv. The Bachelor, The Voice, The Real World (& the Challenges), Shark Tank, Chopped, Masterchef, Project Runway, etc. I could honestly go on for a very long time. The only scripted show that I keep up with right now is How To Get Away With Murder.

04) I went to school in Rhode Island for Dance/Performance Studies & Psychology. My parents flipped out when I told them I wanted to be a Dance major but it was alllllllllll I had eyes for. Dance is, to this day, is the thing that makes me feel most alive.

05) I would categorize my personal style as minimalist meets classic meets bohemian.

06) My favorite places I’ve been are San Fran, LA, New York City, Atlanta, & Costa Rica. Getting on a plane is the most euphoric feeling I’ve ever experienced. I haven’t gotten to travel much but my heart yearns for it every day.

07) I’m obsessively checking plane ticket prices, travel Groupons, & vacation packages. On the daily. It’s kind of a problem. But my frugality & my wanderlust heart collide and fireworks spark when I find an all-inclusive airfare included Groupon to Ireland with a rental car - FOR ONLY $599??? Even if I never buy it.

08) I’m going to graduate school in the fall for Clinical Mental Health Counseling with a focus in Dance/Movement Therapy in either Cambridge or New Hampshire and I will be deciding which one SOON. But I miss learning tremendously & I can’t wait to be back in that thriving, inspiring environment.

09) Yoga & meditation are very important to me, very close to my heart. They’re two things that I find that I don’t do ENOUGH of, but when I do, I always wonder why I don’t every single day. A far off dream of mine is to complete a 200 hour YTT & teach yoga classes part-time.

10) My favorite unhealthy foods in this life are cheese, chocolate chip cookies, garlic bread, and cupcakes. My favorite HEALTHY foods are kale, edamame, fresh blueberries, and clementines.

11) This is my second blog! I broke the domain to my old one, oops.

12) I am honestly, truly, wholeheartedly a different & better human being after I have consumed coffee in the morning.

Where Have I Been? Part 2

Lately, blogging just hasn't been for me! Blogging the proper, controlled, contrived way. With photos and links all carefully curated, taking hours to format a post, to make it look just so, to check the grammar and the spacing. 

NOT TO MENTION. 

The pressure. The pressure to get page views and comments and engagement. Honestly? I don't care too much about that right now. I took a long social media semi-hiatus. I was still on social media but I was barely looking. Then I decided that my old social media handles all harbor too much angst, sadness, nostalgic memories that give me anxiety rather than the warm fuzzies. 

So I made new ones. New Twitter, new Instagram, new Tumblr. All the same derivation of my first name, middle name, and last initial. Clean, simple. Me. Also, a fresh start (one of my favorite things of all time!).

I don't feel like obsessively reading other woman's blogs just to produce a mediocre comment that MIGHT get me a couple of page views or comments back. It feels inauthentic, which is something that I am trying soooooo hard to steer away from. And which is why I'm writing a post like this. Unedited, semi-stream of conscious, Trebuchet font. I don't know who I'm writing to - if anyone at all - or just to myself. My future self. 

A couple of life updates: 

- I finished applying to grad school.

- I got into the Cambridge grad school program as of two days ago!

- I interviewed for the New Hampshire program on Monday.

- I really loved the NH interview & will find out if I got in there by Friday.

- If I get into the NH school I'm very confused about which program is right for me. 

- Really, I just am terrified to live in either Boston or NH, for very different reasons. 

And even more fun stuff! 

- I'm going to Atlanta, Savannah, and Orlando in FIVE FREAKIN' DAYS. 

- I haven't been on a plane in two years, so I may cry with happiness. 

- I haven't taken this much consecutive time off in a year and half I believe. I feel that I deserve it. 

Travel ignites my restless soul. I have been to Atlanta & Orlando but never to Savannah. I think it's really important to go somewhere once a year (at least!) that you've never been before. 

Where Have I Been?

It's been over 2 weeks since I've logged over here onto my formal little space on the internet and let some strangers peek into my life. I thought it was important to give an update on what I've been doing and why I haven't been very into blogging lately.

• I've been applying to grad school. The energy that I expend typing away on these posts was being directly channeled into something super productive and difficult which were my personal statements and formal graduate resume. And now they are DONE AND SUBMITTED. PRAISE. (and check one box off for January goals).
• I've been on tumblr. This website used to be one that I hated because of all the young, immature people on it. But I've cultivated a page filled with art, inspiration, health-minded people, and positivity. It's like a mood board for everything I can possibly think of and I feel that the age group over there is a little more geared to where I'm at in life, as opposed to the blogger/wordpress world.  
• I've been livin' life! Sometimes recapping every single thing that happens to me, or feeling that I have to take photos of everything, takes me out of the moment. When it comes to my daily life, I've been using the Grid Diary app again (every day in 2017 so far!) so that I have small journal entries to look back on. But I think I may only use this website now to post the great, grand things that I do. Also so that I feel more comfortable sharing it with my friends and family. 

Since we're here I might as well share some favorite things of the year, so far! 

• Kiehl's hand cream and original lip balm. Omg, so good.
• Being a redhead again. Best decision of 2016.
• My new electric toothbrush.
• Vests in general.
• This season of The Bachelor!!!!
• Reading my Kindle (book reviews are likely on the way!)
• Following a pretty strict workout plan.
• Keeping track of my food intake in a very cute Moleskin notebook.
• Micron fine tip pens.
• The most adorable black leather (I'm assuming faux) backpack with gold hardware that I received as a Secret Santa present. 
• Rosehip oil all over my face. 
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So that's it folks. I felt it was important to step away from the blog, re-evaluate what I want out of it this year, and deliver when I have some good content to deliver.