No matter what anyone tells you, therapy is normal & healthy.
How can anyone be expected to carry all of their emotions, thoughts, & worries with them 24/7?
It's impossible.
And if you're constantly unloading on your friends and family members, you can start to feel like a burden. Been there, done that. I'LL PASS.
I love my therapist. She's like my friend that my insurance pays to talk & listen to me, who is completely unbiased and provides the best insight.
It doesn't hurt that she's about 65 years old, has been practicing for 40 years, and is basically a surrogate grandmother.
She's taught me so much about myself & helped me grow into a MUCH stronger person than when I started therapy about two years ago. (my process of starting therapy is a blog post/novel in itself)
Here's what I've learned from going to therapy for two years now:
1. Finding the right therapist is like finding the right pair of shoes.
I was lucky on the first try in terms of "clicking" with my therapist. But if you don't feel like you can open up with them, or relate to them at all, they probably aren't right for you. It's okay to try again to find the perfect fit.
2. They don't even really tell you what to do.
My therapist will give me suggestions, but never a biased opinion, or direct advice. They want you to come to your own conclusions, but will guide you there with questions.
3. Sometimes having someone listen is all you need.
I am quite often a needy mess in my life and in relationships. I need the comfort of knowing that someone is there and cares about me. Watching my therapist nod with empathy as I vent is the best feeling, and sometimes all I really need.
4. You have a big affect on them, believe it or not.
My therapist will tell me things throughout the week that reminded her of me, or bring me pamphlets for occupational therapy offices that I'm researching. It shows that she cares about me, and makes me feel like I'm more than "just another patient". When I get emotional, she gets emotional. I think that's the mark of a great therapist, one that makes you feel extremely cared about (of course without overstepping professional boundaries).
5. The right therapist will make you feel like your problems are important, not silly or stupid.
It goes without saying that your therapist should approach each of your problems with their full attention and concern. They aren't judgmental and they take you seriously.
6. You don't only talk about the bad stuff.
Therapy isn't a riddle to solve. It's a relationship with someone who can help you better understand your actions and habits. But there isn't some equation you follow with what you talk about. If you feel like telling your therapist about all the good things in your life, go right ahead!
7. Your therapist should have a sense of humor.
My therapist has the face of Mrs. Claus and the mouth of a sailor. I think it's because she models her behavior after her patients. Since I swear up a storm when I get worked up, so does she. But she has a great sense of humor, and makes our sessions very comfortable for me to vent about anything (& I mean ANYTHING).
8. Saying something out loud makes it less overwhelming.
Sometimes keeping something up in my head for a long time will feed it to become a monstrous big deal. Saying something out loud, to someone who has literally heard it all, tames that beast. Your therapist will help you break it down into smaller parts so that it's easier to manage and to think about.
There's your dose of realness for the week!
If you're looking a badass therapist, narrow your options down using Psychology Today. You can filter it by location, gender, insurance taken, specialty... pretty much anything.
Some people are nervous about going to therapy, or talking about going, because of this weird mental health stigma that somehow still exists.
HELLO PEOPLE, IT'S 2016.
I will tell you this. Therapy just makes me feel better.
I've never regretted a therapy session.
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