October Goals.

Ahhhhh, a beautiful new month. Here are my October goals!

1. Write, write write. 
I want to stay committed to blogging regularly, again, to hold myself accountable and to keep reminding myself of my goals. The more I see them, the more likely I am to stick to them! I also want to try writing different styles that I used to love: poetry, prose, short form fiction. I am such a perfectionist but writing needs to become a fun, no pressure activity for me again.

2. Get on the grad school grind. 
This month I need to reach out to admissions counselors, professors for recommendation letters, research admissions requirements, make sure I have those requirements, and begin filling out applications and writing personal statements. Ugh, it's so overwhelming! But I applied to grad school once, so I know I can do it again (lol)!

3. Stick to TIU 30 Day Challenge!
My friend, Courtney, and I are doing this challenge with Tone It Up. I won't be following the meal plan 100% because I have another meals that have been working for me (but I am on board with lean, clean, and green meals.. also lots of potatoes because #ComfortFood), but I will be doing either a workout class at my local gym OR the TIU daily moves every damn day.

4. Purge my apartment & prep guest bedroom in CT. 
I don't know why it's so difficult for me to tackle minor home projects like cleaning out the bathroom cabinets. I had grand plans to do just that this past weekend. But alas, motivation could not find me. But! I have high hopes this month of finally getting rid of the VAST amounts of random items that have collected in this apartment in the past year. When I do finally move out of the city it will be so much easier if I'm not rummaging through fifteen different hair products while trying to pack. That said, there is a chance that sometime in the near future I may have to move back in with my parents. That bedroom has turned into my parents personal storage area, so I'm hoping to remedy that when I go home for Columbus Day weekend.

Here's to a new month, all the apples & pumpkin, and tangible goals.

It's just a bunch of Hocus Pocus!

When a weekend isn't rejuvenating enough, can we please get a do-over?...

Friday night was for relaxing, but Saturday was filled with a wild goose chase for costume supplies, my aunt's 50th birthday celebration, and a Halloween house party with decorations worth an Academy Award.

Then on Sunday we went to Salem, along with what felt like everyone else in New England. It was crowded af but it was magical in its chaos and a beautiful day to walk around. A section of street was completely shut down and packed to the brim with tents, vendors, mayhem, and people dressed in the BEST costumes I've ever seen.

I swear, L and I impressed ourselves with our Fairly Odd Parents costume from Saturday night, but we were nothing compared to these people. They do Halloween and they do it HARD.

We took in all of the insane stimuli - the ghosts, ghouls, creeps, creatures, and characters - as we walked all the way through the downtown area, popping into authentic witch shops and picking up some magical crystals and loose tea leaves, guaranteeing to aid with anxiety, bring good luck, and increase immunity. Bippity boppity boo.

Once we looped around, we found the Witch Dungeon Museum and watched a re-enactment of Elizabeth Proctor's witch trial. The history of the witch trials is actually fascinating, and something that I can't believe I didn't know more about. I actually used to be obsessed with witches as a young child... no, I'm not sure how much supervision my parents were giving me when I visited the town library...

We were then led into the re-creation of the actual witch dungeon, where as many as 200 people were held during the witch hysteria of 1692. The actual dungeon was found completely preserved in the 50's but DESTROYED.

What were they thinking?!

The Crucible hadn't been written yet (which really brought all the witch fame to the town) and the people living there were more than a little bit embarrassed that their ancestors convicted hundreds of people and hanged twenty in fifteen months of terror and chaos. Fortunately, one of the support beams from the original structure was kept by a demolition worker and donated to the museum. I touched it with my bare hand. Hopefully no spirits followed me home to Connecticut...

HAPPY HALLOWEEN.

And also, happy last day of October. Since my goals for October were a little bit different than my previous months (and I honestly loved it), this is what I learned this month.

I can't drink like I used to. Did you read this embarrassing account of me losing my shit at happy hour? My body is old and sleep deprived and I get drunk 700x faster than I did back in college. Oh, the good old days. I can still have a nice little adult beverage, but let's limit it to two. Our wallets and our livers will be much happier.

Having pink hair doesn't make you more fun, but it definitely doesn't hurt. In October I decided it'd be fun and different to dye my hair this pretty rosy color. It's faded a little bit, but I've been loving it. It's helped me to not take my appearance so seriously and also make me feel a little bit like a unicorn, which is of course my true calling.

Adventures come in all shapes and sizes. L and I went on some fantastic adventures this month, and I couldn't be happier. I think I've succeeded in finally giving him the adventure bug! We've been going to farmer's markets, on scenic road trips, and it was HIM who suggested we go to Salem this weekend! We're in the process of making a list of all the day trips in driving distance we want to try and go to. He even coined the term "Adventure Sunday". I couldn't be more of a proud mama bear. But adventures do come in all shapes and sizes and a relaxing drive through farmland is just as magical as a long weekend trip to Savannah. The small magic of our October adventures reminded me of this.

Being sore all week is a feeling that I missed. For the past two weeks I've been hitting the gym HARD, the way that I used to. My body is tired, aching, and craving my bed when I clock off from my shift but I suck it up like the cry baby that I am, change into my "gym leggings" (not to be confused with my "work leggings") and get my work out in. And my body loves being sore. Now I just have to shit up the Vitamin Shoppe and get some BCAA's so that sore feeling doesn't turn into not being able to walk down stairs for four days straight.

November 1st is tomorrow and while I honestly cannot believe this year is flying by so quickly, I am so excited to begin the holiday season this year. Adios October, you were pretty great.

The Friday Five

Hey what's up hello? HAPPY FRIDAY.
This week started off strong, man. Those warm days, that sunshine. I had so much energy... by the middle of Wednesday though, I was dragging. Seriously dragging. I think it's because I didn't have a single sip of coffee on Wednesday - what was I thinking???

Here are five things from this past week that made me happy, made me ponder, made me feel a lil somethin' somethin'.

The weather. Am I a boring old lady for talking about the weather? Maybe. I don't care. Records were broken on Tuesday and Wednesday. It's kind of a big deal. When I got in my car to head home from work both of those days, the thermostat inside my car read 88°F and it was fucking glorious. I spent as much time as physically possible outside - walking the dog, power walking around the neighborhood, on an outdoor patio, walking the track on the riverfront, sitting outside in my backyard as spiders fell from the trees and landed all over me... good times. But seriously, it was good times.

My coffee order. For future reference, a medium hot coffee with almond milk and a flavor shot of toasted almond has been my shit. Thanks to my coworker Neil for converting me to this from my SUGAR LADEN, CALORIE BOMB regular order (medium iced mocha latte light and sweet... again, what was I thinking???) I like coffee so much more now, because it doesn't make me feel sick to my stomach afterwards.

side note/funny story: 

I always thought that "light and sweet" for a coffee order meant like, light in calories yet still somehow sweet... like I thought this was the healthiest option. Why did no one correct me on this until a couple of months ago. Why! 

My wanderlust. I have been stagnant for way too long. I haven't even gone on a day trip since... I can't even remember! I go crazy when I don't go anywhere for too long, even if it's just to Rhode Island or New Haven or Boston. So I need to talk to bae and see where we can realistically day trip, probably the weekend after Halloween since we have plans all the way up until then. We are busy bees.

these feet were made for travelin'... 

The new hair. People are so funny, because they react one of three ways to my cotton candy colored birds nest. 

1. No reaction. They don't notice at all, or at least don't say anything. 

2. I love your hair! 
3. Oh my god, you dyed your hair! 

The last one is the funniest because I don't know what to say besides, "yeah I did! It's pink!" Like hello, they have eyes, obviously they can see that it's pink. But I was worried that I'd be over it within a few days - nope, still love it. It's doing exactly what I wanted, which is make me take myself a little less seriously and feel a little more fun. And spontaneous. Example A, I had about a hundred tasks to complete yesterday but instead organized two of my friends to meet for an outdoor happy hour. YOLO. 

Abundant sunshine. Vitamin D is my best friend. Which is why I kind of side-eye people when they say that moving to Florida is over-rated... is it though? I kind of don't think so. I'll trade humid temperatures with dreary bleary gray and overcast winters any day of my life. The sun has been shining every day this week and my spirits are higher than the ceiling. Higher than a kite. I know this feeling won't last forever, but that's also why I've been taking two vitamin D supplements every day for the past month and a half. Can't start prepping for the dread of winter too early! 

Happy Friday friends, blog, internet people,
future Danielle (who obsessively re-reads all of her posts because she's weird like that). 

Have a great weekend. 

It's 85 degrees + I'm not complaining

This Indian summer is ending today, but it was three days of total bliss and a jolt of energy in my little warm weather craving, sunshine loving body. Warm weather gives me the strangest feelings... a driving productivity, THE WORST WANDERLUST EVER.. and also this weird sadness?

The seasons give me crazy nostalgia. A lot of it revolves around college. I feel like my senses were 100 times more vivid when I was living in my charming (which translates to completely messy and disorganized) apartment in Bristol, RI. Sleepless nights, hungover mornings, hazy days packed with so much activity, faces, and places. Mostly I'm hit with waves of nostalgia for falling in love for the first time. I hate talking about this, and I hate writing about it even more. My first love was the biggest heart break I'll ever experience in my life. I truly believe this. I started falling in love in February. I was completely and totally wrapped up in a love that I believed would last forever by the time May rolled around.

So whenever a weather pattern hits that feels like spring is in the air, I get this mix of happiness (since I'm totally a warm weather person) oddly accompanied by a funny feeling in my stomach.

Earlier this week I surprised myself by doing a full body circuit workout with a trainer, taking Shermany-wormy (my old beagle dog whose name is actually just Sherman) for a walk, going for a 2 mile power walk, teaching a Spin class, and teaching an advanced modern dance class - all in one day. 

There's that crazy productivity! Is there anything more beautiful than wearing a tank top and crop leggings in the middle of October? All while working up a sweat surrounded by the brightest colors of yellow, orange, and red? I really don't think so! 

I did a lot of talking yesterday. I had a session with my therapist, who will always remind me of my grandma. Then I had an impromptu lunch date with Shawn and Melissa. I kept bringing up the same points. Over and over again. 

How much I hate my stagnant, monotonous schedule.

My need to go somewhere, anywhere, asap.
How spending money on stupid shit is the reason I don't have any money to make - what Shawn and I dramatically label - "memories that will last a lifetime". 

Shawn and I took a walk around the track at a riverfront park yesterday after getting lunch on an outdoor patio (he got butternut squash soup and French fries. I got a BBQ pulled work sandwich and a Caesar side salad. Melissa got fried mac & cheese, large meatballs, and BBQ pulled pork sliders. I mention this because I love food so fucking much). So yes, after those meals, we definitely needed to walk it off.

Shawn is one of my best friends. We just get each other most of the time and we can be so sarcastic and quick-witted and poke the most fun at each other. Like, yes, we did totally want to kill each other a little bit when we were in Costa Rica. But once we got started talking about Costa Rica while we walked the track, we couldn't stop. We STILL can't believe that we navigated traveling to a foreign, Spanish-speaking country together. Travel bloggers, you're cool and all, but this was single handedly the coolest thing I've ever done.

We had no travel agent, we had no big fun Groupon. 

It was just us, my friend who was staying there on a work visa, and a hostel with a full size mattress on the floor. 

So now our question that we contemplated as we walked was, where the hell do we want to go next? Costa Rica was in April 2015. So it'll be two years this April and we are seriously thinking we need to have a Grand Canyon Adventure. I've been saying this for literally years, but can never find anyone to help me put the plans into action. Shawn might be that person. I feel like going to the Grand Canyon and all those beautiful national parks is a weird rite of passage for millenials my age.

I'll be honest. It is brutally hard to be enamored with the idea of traveling all over and meanwhile be in a relationship with someone who suffers from pretty serious anxiety. Lucas doesn't have the same priorities I do when it comes to saving money for travel, so I've recently had to explain to him that this might mean he has to accept the idea that I may have to go solo, or with other friends. Baby steps, baby steps. I've gone to Boston and Rhode Island without him, and he was okay with the idea of me going to North Carolina for a few days to visit a friend there. Baby steps. Our relationship may have it's serious ups and downs but it hurts me a lot to see him grappling with anxiety that somethin bad will happen to me. But it's my life first and foremost. So we'll see.

A Big Change, A Subtle Shift

October, man. We are in you.

This is one of my favorite months. Halloween has always been a favorite holiday of mine - I was quite a spooky kid. Princess costumes were boring in my book - I was a witch about six years in a row and then dabbled in fake plastic vampire teeth and synthetic costume shop blood.

If I was going to be a princess it had better have the word "zombie" in front! 

I was a huge fan of dress-up too. I had a dress-up bin that was probably the largest storage container my parents could find. Wigs, old dance costumes, capes, fairy princess wands, Cinderella slippers, and body glitter piled on top of each other would topple out onto the carpet whenever a friend came over and it was time to prepare a fashion show for our parents. 

One of my goals (but we aren't calling them goals) for October is to stop taking myself so seriously. A small subset of that goal is to change up my appearance in some way, just for fun, just because I'm young and I can still get away with it. 

I'm 23 years old and I've never pierced anything besides my single pierced ears, never got a tattoo, haven't really had a proper haircut in maybe six years, never dyed my hair a crazy color (unless kool-aid red, BY ACCIDENT, in middle school counts). 

I think I'm boring. And I don't like that at all. 

There's an edgy little firecracker inside me but I'm so scared for some reason of expressing myself outwardly. I'm soooooo sick of it!

I am t w e n t y  t h r e e  y e a r s  o l d.

To be fair, I strongly believe women have the freedom to drastically change up their appearance at any stage of their life. If you're 40 and you suddenly want to get your eyebrow pierced, GO FOR IT. I just feel like I'm the youngest I'm ever going to be, and why not just do something now. If not now, when.

So I have an appointment to get my hair done this Friday, or maybe next Friday, and this is what I'm thinking. 

1. purple on the tips?  2. this darker rose color?

3. i honestly think this is fucking gorgeous 4. so subtle, but so cute.

Which one do you like the best? 

I hope my boyfriend's sister, who does my color, doesn't want to kill me for wanting to do this to my hair. We worked really hard on making a super blended balayage for like, the past four months... whoops! Sorry Lucy, hehe. 

Leave a comment, it means so much for me to actively engage with anyone awesome enough to start a conversation on this blog!

Follow afloat on a full sea on Bloglovin!  

September Recap + October Goals!

It seems like September went by with the blink of an eye, which also seems to be the theme of this entire year. I'm going to do a round-up of my September goals, then explain why I'm doing October a little bit differently.

SEPTEMBER GOALS

01) Make & use toothpaste and make-up wipes from natural ingredients. -- nope.

02) Make "nice cream" out of bananas and fun flavors! -- nope.

03) Take some pretty photos for the blog/have new headshots taken for dance. -- nope.

04) Read one book for pleasure and one book for knowledge.
I don't know why I'm having issues reading any books for knowledge! But I'm almost finished with He Will Be My Ruin, and I started Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone. Just because it's my own little random tradition to re-read the entire series every couple of years and it really puts me in the fall/winter spirit.

05) Actually start grad school application process (scary!)
I've spoken with two DMT's so far and I think it's officially time to give up the OT path I've plowed for myself the past couple of years. I'm not even going to bring myself to think about how much money I wasted on Anatomy classes... life is moving on. The DMT's I've talked to are so interesting and the programs sound so inspiring. It really is a career where it's all about how you market yourself and what you make of it. I'm getting coffee with another DMT this weekend, so we'll see what advice she can give me for my application process. Which I definitely need to physically start, soon.

06) Meditate at least twice a week.
My meditation practice wasn't formal and it wasn't scheduled. But what I have been doing is making a conscious effort to take deep breaths more consistently throughout the day. I can tell the difference when I've been breathing shallowly for a long time. There are thousands of studies that show how deep breathing can drastically improve your overall health.

07) Save $400 and put it directly into a travel fund.
No. I didn't accomplish this goal at all. But what I did accomplish is downloading the Qapital app, featured in my monthly favorites, which saves all my money for me. This is the kind of savings account that I need. Something visual, and something that gives me the option of actively or passively saving money towards a variety of goals.

08) Try a Bikram Yoga class.
Yes, I did accomplish this, yes it was really really really fucking sweaty. I also forgot a water bottle, so I almost died of dehydration. Would I do it again? Probably, because I love sweating.

I'm not doing goals for October. I just don't feel like it.
Sometimes I think I make this arbitrary list of goals, just to give myself random things to get done. They're all things that I want to do, but it just doesn't feel natural. Maybe it's because they're written down so formally?

I'm working really, really hard towards finding myself as a 23 year old woman in this world. I feel like I've aged 30 years in 2016. I'm frustrated that I've become a person who takes myself and my life so seriously. I am so young! What is wrong with me??

So instead of a random list of goals for October, I have a list of 10 October things. Maybe mantras is a better word. But here they are.

OCTOBER THINGS

01) Actively stop myself anytime I'm afraid to do something. Take a deep breath. Do it anyways.
02) Be happy, loud, and free.
03) Change up my appearance in some dramatic way. Just because I'm young and I can get away with it still.
04) Stop taking myself and my life so seriously.
05) Be okay with where I'm at, compared with everyone else. aka, stop comparing myself to everyone else.
06) Continue my wonderful, life-changing health journey. Bring even more naturalness into my life (beauty, skincare, etc.)
07) Enjoy every single second of Halloween-themed everything. Decorate a pumpkin, make ghosts out of tissue paper, make spooky dance playlists, DIY a dope costume. Feel like a kid again!
08) Laugh my way through a corn maze or a pumpkin patch.
09) Stay organized - but find spontaneity again in my life.
10) Say "yes" to all fun things. Yes yes yes.

What are you working towards, not just this month... but in your life?
Because life is too short to only put the serious stuff on the to-do list... and when you think about it, what's really more important than your happiness in your life?

Not much, man. 

HAPPY OCTOBER.