These are the untold snippets of the E.R.
10:25pm
Drifting off to sleep next to L. Cozy, comfy, and relaxed. Alarm set for 3:48am the next morning, since I have to be at work for 5:00. A little bit concerned that I'm not going to get enough sleep but mehhhh, oh well. Goodnight!
11:01pm
L LEAPS out of bed and starts vomiting violently. All over the floor. All over the sink. All over the toilet. I sit up in bed clutching my stuffed cat like a child, helpless and confused as vomit literally goes everywhere.
11:20pm
We are in L's mother's brand new convertible BMW as she speeds aggressively down the freeway. L clutches several plastic grocery bags in fear that the vomiting may erupt once more. L's mother, Kathy, glances nervously at her BMW's beautiful brown leather interior.
11:40pm
I approach the entrance to the hospital with trepidation... I literally cannot handle blood in any amount. L holds his stomach, bent over double. The waiting room looks full of sick, injured, and sleep deprived people. We approach the check-in area.
12:00am
A seven hour wait is what we've been told. We kind of laugh, but then realize that they aren't kidding. We settle into some seats and silently stare ahead of us as a Puerto Rican family cusses in Spanglish in the seats nearby.
1:00am
L has had enough waiting. After a couple of rounds of hyperventilation, he claims that his breathing has become labored. We go back up to the nurses station, where she checks his vitals again. They are "rock solid". He gives her a dirty look and we take a seat once more.
1:30am
L sends Kathy home because he doesn't need two caregivers and apparently she's pretty awful when she doesn't get enough sleep. She protests for about 2 seconds, then leaves us alone to fend for ourselves in the E.R.
2:30am
We register in a hallway and are brought to another hallway where L is given a hospital bed to climb into because all of the rooms are at capacity. It's "one of those nights".
3:00am
We are freezing cold, literally shivering. Between the two of us, we are somehow able to procure about eight hospital blankets from nice nurses.
3:30am
We're still in the hallway. The woman in the room next to us is crying and moaning. L and I give each other super uncomfortable sideways glances, then ask a nice nurse to move us to a different part of the hall.
4:20am
A doctor comes to take L's bloodwork and gives him an IV. I have a full blown meltdown. I am not the one getting stuck with a needle, but seeing them and knowing they are going into someone's skin triggers a psychotic episode. I hyperventilate and sob uncontrollably, after which L snaps at me to go take a walk and get some fresh air.
4:30am
I find a hospital cafe. I order what will soon become the best asiago bagel I have EVER eaten. Then I get lost on my way back to L.
4:45am
We wait
5:20am
We wait
6:30am
We wait
7:40am
We are moved to a spacious room. L is sleeping like an infant, hooked up to some serious
10:00am
L is finally seen for an ultrasound of his stomach. I sit in a different waiting room with my blanket, reading The Husband's Secret and listening to two older women talk about the fairy pools in Scotland. I make a mental note to visit them before I die.
1:30pm
L has me steal several pairs of size small latex medical gloves for no discernible reason.
3:05pm
We are finally, finally, finally free. L is sent away with a work note, a heavy duty pain pill prescription, a fancy hospital bracelet, and no idea what's actually wrong with him. Three cheers for modern medicine! All the good doctor can tell us is that his liver levels are a little bit off and to get some new blood work done in a few days. Kathy picks us up in her BMW convertible - this time the top is down. The wind whips my dirty, matted hair into my face and eyes as the sun shines down upon us.
We survived 17 hours in the E.R.
* I know that this situation could have been much more serious and that we were very lucky with the outcome. My nature is to try to find interest + humor in even the most non-humorous situations, and that's what we did.
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