Basic Makeup for Basic Betches In a Hurry

So I know I mentioned I work in a gym but I don't think I mentioned that I work the morning shift, which starts at 5am. YUPP.

Here's what one of my mornings typically looks like:

Alarm goes off at 3:58am. LOL, SNOOZE. Back to sleep. 

Alarm goes off again at 4:08am. FUCK. Jump out of bed. 

Everything is dark. Eyes not adjusting. 

Accidentally hit boyfriend in the head jumping out of bed. 

Hair looks like I got electrocuted. 

No time to shower... haha! Good jokes. 

Can't find work outfit. Trips over sneakers. 

Forgets lunch box on the way out the door. 

Somehow make it to work on time (most days) but look a frazzled mess. 

Does that resonate with anyone? As much as I try my best to prepare the night before work, there is always SOMETHING that usually goes wrong in the morning, to the point where I literally need the most basic makeup routine possible in order to look slightly presentable at work despite my disheveled state of mind.

Thus, I bring to you....

Basic Makeup for Basic Betches In a Hurry.

1. Do ya damn face. L'oreal Lumi Cushion Foundation is a GOD SEND and yes, is really all it's cracked up to be. Ideally apply this with a beauty blender but if all else fails, smear it on with that additional sponge. *thumbs up emoji*

2. Eyebrows are an important thing that I guess I never really had before I started using eyebrow products. Thanks Youtube gurus and Instagram stars for helping my brow game get more fleeky. I ain't got no time for pencils or powders in the morning, so I let this L'oreal brow gel doo-dad go to werk werk werk.

3. If I don't have time to do eye makeup (which lols, is never) I want my face to be a sparkly disco ball. Idk why that is. But the new Tarte Rainforest of the Sea Highlighting Palette is of sparkling disco goddess dreams. 

4. Pair the highlighting palette with some Milani baked blush in ANY shade (but I prefer Berry Amore) and you will literally look like a flower petal coated in shimmering morning dew drops. And who doesn't want that?! 

5. Slap on some mascara. Don't even bother curling your lashes. You aren't going for high maintenance here, you're going for "hey I'm awake and I made it to work on time, I deserve a cookie". Mascara opens up your eyeballs to look more awake and this one just happens to not clump and also be waterproof so you don't smear it all over when you yawn and rub your eyes at 5am. 

6. This is the BEST MAKEUP SETTING POWDER EVER. It's a tried and true favorite. Powder dat t-zone for oily free mornings. 

7. This $24 tinted lip balm is worth every penny. Lips of an angel. No flakes, no dryness, gorgeous color. 

Hello flawless, and welcome to your quickest, most basic morning ever.