A letter to my pre-college self

Dear Danielle,

Oh poor, sweet Danielle. You are so innocent and young and naive. You have such a strong desire to fit in and be accepted that you are denying so many parts of yourself, and yet at the same time, you are being loud and trying to get so many people's attention.

Let's start with the light stuff.

You are convinced that you can pull off a bob. You're cute but you can't. And you shouldn't cut your own bangs either, it looks totally crazy. You're hair is too curly for this hairstyle. Embrace your natural hair texture! It will take you years to figure out how to make it work, but it will save your hair so much damage and you will get so much more sleep in the morning.

It will be awhile before you figure out how to actually take care of yourself in terms of your acne, your dry skin, and your immune system. You don't know how to eat healthy yet either, and you actually won't figure that out for many years. The good news is, your skin will clear up and look better than ever. You just have to give it time. I know how self conscious it makes you, trust me I understand. Just put on a brave face and use the BareMinerals your mom got you. Even though I wouldn't recommend a powder foundation to someone with skin as dry as the Sahara like yours is right now. 

Your friends now will not be your friends forever and that's okay. You will find better friends. You will never be quite sure why your friends grew apart so quickly once you guys left for college. Deep down, you were just very different people. You always felt stifled and somewhat judged by them. They were great people at the time and you shared some incredible laughs together but you were just kids and when you went away to college, they may have grown up a little bit faster than you did. Like I said at the beginning, you were very naive. From whatever way your parents raised you, you had absolutely no relationship with drugs or alcohol. Going to college will be an eye opener.

You will actually be so scared and nervous, and for probably the first few months of college, you won't have a sip of alcohol. I have advice for Freshman Year of College Danielle too, but let's save that for a separate letter. 

Pre-College Danielle, you are still very much in denial about your sexuality. You tried dating a couple of boys but there honestly weren't many quality ones to choose from at your high school. And you had crushes but they weren't very serious. The truth is, you will have two secret relationships with girls from your high school and those are the ones that will make you feel that rush. This is going to stress you out a LOT, and for a long time you're going to suppress it. But once you finally come clean, years later, you will be proud and confident and happy, trust me. But again, there's another blog post for this topic. 

Basically, Pre-College Danielle, what I'm telling you is that you are living in a very small box right now. I'm not sure if it feels like a small box to you in the moment. Maybe sometimes. But that box will explode when you go off to Rhode Island. Convince your parents that being a Dance major is something that you need to do. You will grow SO MUCH. You'll dance in ways you never even thought imaginable and you will find your place in the Roger Williams University dance program. Pinky swear. Don't let anyone convince you that dance is a stupid thing to major in. 

Open a savings account now, not later.
Get your damn freakin' license, don't be afraid to drive.
Keep in touch with the two friends from high school that will be there for you years and years later.
Don't paint your room lime green, what were you thinking.

I don't recognize you from where I'm standing now, but I know you'll always be a part of who I am today.
I love you sis. 

xoxo,
23 Year Old Semi-Adult Danielle